


Digging up a grave

by PetraRal28



Series: Digging up a grave [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies)
Genre: Alive Petra Ral, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Romance, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Resurrection, Sexual Content, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:48:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29610360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetraRal28/pseuds/PetraRal28
Summary: After the resounding failure of the 57th expedition, the troops of the survey corps retreat hastily towards the shelter of the walls. Humanity has only recently learned about the existence of intelligent titans, of unexpected human nature, although even more surprises remain hidden on the abandoned battlefield...
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Petra Ral, Rivetra - Relationship, levitra, rivapeto
Series: Digging up a grave [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2175492
Comments: 46
Kudos: 72





	1. She never reached

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! I’ve finally finished the first chapter of my first fanfic ever. I must warn you this is just an introduction that sets the premise for what’s coming next, so the pacing will be quite fast in this one. I preferred to do it this way so you won’t have to wait too long for their interactions to happen. I also apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes since English isn’t my first language. This was quite hard to do! 
> 
> This story will rely a lot on the blanks left by Isayama when dealing with Petra and Levi’s relationship, giving these characters a chance to reflect about the nature of their connection, responsability, and the pain of those things which just cannot be. 
> 
> All the characters belong to Hajime Isayama.

After so many years fighting, he had grown used to the feeling of having every part of his body active, the tingling blood through his limbs and the acceleration of his perception. In such a tense moment, the sound of the chariot wheels became unconsciously annoying, increasing his anxiety. It was a monotonous and stable noise, almost as much as the danger to which they were constantly subjected. Unfortunately, however, not frantic enough to keep them away from the rumbling of gigantic footsteps dangerously approaching them. It didn't take much reasoning to figure out that getting rid of their fallen comrades was the most effective way to increase their speed and save themselves. However, it took him a moment to vocalize the decision. There was something about it that felt wrong, as if he was repeating his mistake by leaving them behind. Somehow, it comforted him to know that with that decision he was valuing their sacrifice, for he couldn't let their deaths lead to more casualties. After exchanging several shouts, the tail boards opened, dropping those bodies whose rescue had already posed a considerable risk.

If the sound of the carts already sapped their weary minds, now it was added the dreadful crash of their friends against the ground, some of them to be eaten by the titans, others to be crushed and forgotten in the same place they went to find their freedom but instead found their deaths.

Levi tried uselessly to take his gaze away from that sight, he knew it was his job to supervise his soldiers, but his eyes couldn't help searching for her silhouette in each covered figure. He remembered in detail where he had placed her, how he had tied her shroud and tried to keep her badge for himself... So when her body fell, accidentally revealing flocks of strawberry blonde hair, he was there this time, looking at her once more. Levi felt his stomach drop as if a ball of air had suddenly fallen from his constipated chest. Soon the chariots were able to increase their speeds, distancing them forever, and leaving him with the certainty that now he’ll never know.

\---

Hidden in the forest were some still unknown figures. Among them Zeke, whose power had allowed him to approach the battlefield safely. The traitors of humanity had been undercover in the army for several years, but he still felt the need to test the waters for himself, in order to decide how they were going to carry out their next plan. He knew that Annie was in danger, and that Reiner and Bertolt’s identities were soon to be discovered. To his surprise, he found himself in the ideal situation to test out Marley's new weapon. He had brought the silver box with the hope that something similar would happen, but not so incredibly suitable. According to the army leaders, this new product would be able to resurrect and turn corpses into pure titans. This could be a great advantage, since they would be able to profit their soldiers for a little longer. Besides, Paradis was the right place to carry out the experiment on a larger scale without major expense; they wouldn't need ammunition to kill the transformed nor almost any type of security measure (if carried out by someone like Zeke). He just had to wait for the troops to move away and hopefully find some almost complete remains of Eldian soldiers.

He used the scream of his beast titan to stop the nearest pure ones, this way he made sure no more corpses were being eaten nearby, plus making it safe for him to approach them in his human form.

Soon after, Zeke found himself in the middle of a large clearing in the forest, covered in blood and stained white fabrics, revealing what until not long ago would have been humans, although the passage of the titans had left another impression.

Walking among the horrid sight and by seeing the placement of the bodies, he quickly deduced what could have happened. The titans who until recently feasted were now immobile due to his control. Near one of their huge feet, Zeke finds a body whose bones were totally shattered, especially his back, although it remained in one piece. One bare arm revealed a small, pale-skinned hand with the marks of a bite. He quickly noticed it was a young woman, though his face remained unaffected by the sorrowful sight. After a few moments, he raised his gaze from the ground and continued his way in search of complete victims. The sun began to set as Zeke paced, unaffected by the intimidating presence of the titans, luckily finding six more bodies that could be useful. After having deliberated on the state of all of them, he decided which ones were the most likely to become functional beasts. He placed them at a relative distance from each other, facing down, and opened the cold gray box with four syringes. He prepared them all at once, and took a defeated sigh.

With a relative dose of nervousness, he injected all four bodies as fast as he could, hoping to take the necessary time before they transformed. Unfortunately, when injecting the third body, it hatched immediately, having to flee quickly after only being able to transform three.

In the next few moments he watched as the first titan manifested in a very unstable form. Despite his transformation, he had not managed to regenerate his left arm and one of his legs, which left him lying on the ground. The next one was better, at about 3 or 4 meters high, he could walk despite having slight asymmetries. Finally, the first body injected gave rise to a titan with reddish hair and whose stability was quite doubtful as well. It was clear that her broken back had not managed to regenerate fully, remaining twisted. Despite this, what at one point was Petra Ral herself managed to get up off the ground and move. Seeing such failures Zeke could not help but sigh again, doubting the effectiveness of this discovery.

The experiment had only half worked. It wasn’t really useful to create a functional army, although it could restore the life of some would-be titan shifter. In any case, these creatures, whose peace had just been disrupted, were now problem of the survey corps, or at least that’s what he thought…

\---

It would be difficult to say if any aspect of her consciousness ever awakened. Her skin burned, and even though her eyes were open her mind remained black. The creature struggled toward the forest, occasionally stumbling through the trees, causing it no pain or frustration. Some aspect of her, however, was still present. As when one is about to fall asleep and has the sensation of suddenly plunging, Petra would not stop falling. Perhaps it was a loop of her lasts seconds: the lack of gravity and the air leaving her body. What happened in a single instant had turned into a thick mass that occupied her mind all the time. She remained in that limbo until a depression in the ground made her fall into a ditch, being covered by some bushes, product of the humidity of the area.

The sunlight barely penetrated the foliage, leaving her misshapen body useless. Surprisingly, something about her state came to affect her ... The coldness of the shadow and the shelter of the earth briefly embraced her as she relived her nightmares.

There she laid, indifferent to the passage of time, until suddenly something appeared before her. Among the undergrowth, the titan saw the figure of a woman dragging a smoking limbless body and gently laying it on the ground, near the ditch's entrance. Unaware of the titan's presence, Pieck tried to catch her breath before rejoining the Marleyan fleet. They had managed to exterminate much of the Eldian army, but Reiner, Zeke and Porco were on the brink of death, and they had lost the colossal titan too. She had spent a long time transformed, and her injuries had also forced her to take a break in her human form. Right now, they were especially vulnerable, and Pieck could only pray that she could regain her strength and transform again. She then took several steps away to see how the regeneration of her other two companions was going, and in a matter of seconds, the previously invisible titan catapulted from her hiding place, devouring Porco completely.

Pieck had not yet regained all of her strength, and she could only stare in horror at the result of her mistake. When the shock left her body, she grabbed her companions by their collars and tried to drag them as far as she could, even though they were twice her size. Luckily for them, the titan's physical problems and her unevenness prevented her from rising. Pieck's observant nature made her immediately aware of it, and she thought that perhaps she could wait there for it to regain its human form to devour the lost titan again. However, there would still be more titans around them, and it was a priority now to protect her remaining friends. Perhaps thanks to the adrenaline of the moment she managed to transform, took her companions between her jaws and escaped from that place. Pieck knew that retreating was the safest option for the moment, and it eased her mind to think that the survey corps weren’t likely to find the titan before them. And if they did, it would fall back into their hands soon enough.

\---

She took a sudden gasp that woke her up. Her breathing was uneven, and her senses betrayed her. As the heat of the late afternoon sun touched her smoky skin, Petra had the sensation of having awakened from a long nightmare that she could not quite remember. When she finally half-opened her eyes she felt relieved, but within seconds she fell asleep again. She remained there for hours, torn between lethargy and consciousness. Little by little, the consciousness of "self" returned to her, but she couldn’t help feeling that now there was someone else…

Her dreams sharpened, and the moments of her awakening became clearer. At some point Petra thought that maybe she was resting injured on some makeshift base. The night fell on her and she began to feel the cold on her naked body, making her revisit her dreams once again. The dew of dawn was not long in coming, waking her from her visions. For a moment, in the orange light, she wondered to whom that cup belonged, to whom she was speaking, what was that emotion that felt warm in her chest but cold in her arms...

Suddenly, the hum of metal pulleys brought her back to life.

Flying over the trees there was a small crew of the survey corps, following an 8-meter titan that was coming towards her. In the blink of an eye, the creature collapsed on the ground without giving Petra time to identify the situation she was in.

The recovery of Maria Wall had resulted in the almost total extinction of the brigade, but such a victory for humanity and the secrets discovered had pushed some members of the military police to join them, making it possible to carry out modest expeditions near the walls, exterminating the titans that didn't get close enough to be eliminated from the other side. Leading this team was commander Hange Zoë, who had taken over after Erwim's death. She along with Levi were in charge of leading a small group made up of some members of the 104th and a few newbies.

Among the survivors of the last battle was Jean Kristein, who was the first to notice her presence. When he saw the young naked woman lying on the ground, he stopped in his tracks, watching her for a few seconds without being able to believe his eyes. He then threw a black flare, which immediately caught the attention of his companions, who came to help him. Unable to hide the stupor in his expression Jean yelled at Hange "Commander, there’s a human lying on the ground with shifter marks!"

Hearing this, Levi who had not yet changed the course of his trajectory made a violent turn fearing the worst. Seconds later the new recruits followed, visibly terrified of the finding, yet ready for battle.

When Hange landed on the tree Jean was anchored, they were completely paralyzed. "This can't be true ..." After a few moments, they quickly threw themselves to ground level, while Jean followed them fearing a surprise attack. The reaction continued in a chain after seeing the reckless action of the commander. They were still trying to digest Erwin's death, and Levi was quick to yell Hange to get away from the suspicious figure.

Hange by then was completely bent over Petra's body, "Hey, Petra, is it really you? Can you hear me? What happened?" Jean was slightly further back, a little calmer after deducing that it was an acquaintance, although he didn’t understand how. The way they were arranged covered her up, so when Levi reached the ground he couldn’t see her face at first, but felt slightly disappointed that the legs he saw couldn't be Zeke’s... Hange kept muttering an impossible amount of questions to the woman. Levi proceeded to approach her more calmly after realizing that she couldn’t move.

"Hey Hange, could you tell me what-". He froze in a way he probably never did before.

For a few instances his mind seemed to disassociate from what he was seeing. He recognized her face, but was unable to connect the information that reached him. A horrible sense of relief and guilt engulfed him, leaving him expressionless before Petra's immobile anatomy.

The girl was lying on her side, visibly weakened from having spent God knows how long in the open. Her face looked tired and sad, and her eyes were framed by the marks of her transformation. It was obvious that Petra had been turned into a titan, although this should have happened after her death, something they discovered was possible in that exact moment. Not that Levi wasn't happy to see her, but the guilt of seeing her fall victim to this conflict once again was greater. Her body had been left outside the walls and now she had been forced to return to this hell, through a power that would force her to die once again soon. Once Levi came back to reality, he unbuttoned his cloak and put it over her uncovered torso. Hange had never paid much attention to decorum, much less when something fascinated them, and the other cadets did not dare to approach. Petra’s honey eyes fell on him, and he could feel that it was her, even though she was not quite there ... It was almost impossible to believe that he was seeing her, covered with the cloak that he hadn’t been able to get rid of even after changing their uniforms, decorated with the same wings that he had plucked from her badge that day.

"Petra” He said in disbelief “Can you hear us? ..."

"Hmn ..." She managed to pronounce.

Hange screamed with excitement once they saw Petra was finally responding. They immediately brought the horses so they could finally return her inside the walls. The sound of her voice had brought Levi back to his senses, who was already taking care of ordering their retreat. Perhaps he could give her father different news from that time… But what would he tell him exactly? He knew perfectly well that his daughter was now in a limbo, carrying a curse.


	2. The pendant duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra wakes up in the military dungeons, oblivious to everything that has happened during the last six months. Levi is in charge of bringing her up to date, and informing her of her last duty to humanity. Erwin had asked him not too long ago if he could see his fallen comrades, and now he surely could. During their talk, Levi, who had sworn to live regretless, starts to doubt. What will he say once she finally asks him, "how did I die?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter of my Digging up a grave series! I really do appreciate your support guys. I was really excited to know that some of you enjoyed the first part, so I hope you find this one interesting as well. This chapter was quite hard to write. I wanted this part of the story to feel genuine while also setting some conflicts. I'm pretty clear about the direction the story will go, and it will probably end up having around 6 chapters. I’ll keep trying my best to bring you all a good burn! <3

Petra woke up with a start. Seconds after she opened her eyes the memory of her nightmare faded, leaving behind it an agonizing sensation. The room was dark, and a faint musty smell stung her nose. The small bed was nestled against the wall in one corner, though she could barely see anything in the dim light.

She then remembered that she had been in the forest, and that the captain had found her, although she couldn't recall how she had gotten there. She also remembered her conversations with Eren before the expedition, but all the rest seemed to have been lost. There was not a single muscle in her body that didn’t ache, and a slight but persistent migraine pricked her temples. Her hands fearfully explored her body expecting to find a wound that could explain those after-effects. To her surprise, she didn’t find anything on the surface, which made her think that it was something internal, maybe caused by some fall or blow, which was somewhat correct.

At the thought of it, something twisted in her stomach, as it would surely have implied a problem for her squad, that would have had to come to her aid. It was even possible that her own captain had come to rescue her, which hurted her considerably. Petra was a proud soldier, she placed high esteem on her work, and would be lying if she said that she didn’t seek Levi's approval. For a long time Petra had tried to justify herself by thinking that all she wanted was to prove her worth, or that maybe she was too good-natured and therefore a little bit of a pleaser, even if the latter didn’t fit her at all.

Her breathing was still uneven, and from time to time she also experienced vertigo. Fatigue prevented her from caring too much about her condition, although it didn't take long for her to notice that something was wrong. Despite her blackouts, she managed to remember most of the things, but there was a fog separating her from everything… The memories, the people, the important events were there, but the emotional bonds that tied them had been distorted. She analyzed herself in the stillness of the room, until the sound of squeaking metal alerted her that someone was entering.

Thanks to the light of a torch she could see that it was Hange, who had just opened the gate of the cell in which she was. Petra felt misplaced as she realized she was imprisoned, and looked around her quickly, worsening her headache.

"Lay back down, getting upset will only make it worse", Levi said.

His voice moved something inside Petra, briefly clearing the mist that had separated her from reality before, bringing back for a second the sensation that linked his memory to her. She saw him appear from behind Hange, in civilian clothes and with his hands tucked into his pockets. Petra rested her head on the pillow once again, lying on one side without losing sight of her superiors.

"There you go! Just as when we found you… ”, said Hange in a rather calmed manner. As the commander approached she realized Hange wore an eye patch, then her eyes shifted to their neck, where now there was an honorific pendant with a green gem. Petra wondered what could have happened, and how was it possible for them to have been commemorated that fast…

“What happened?”, she asked them, unable to hide her urgency. Hange's expression turned grim, while Levi remained motionless, leaning against the opposite wall the bed was in, unable to look at her. Petra's eyes went from one to the other, trying to figure out if she should apologize for something.

“We figured you won’t remember”, said Hange, making a pause. “You see, Petra… During the 57th expedition, we were attacked by an intelligent titan who turned out to be an infiltrated member in our army. Levi’s squad was totally annihilated, including yourself”.

The room remained in silence as Petra stared the commander in disbelief. “Are they- are they dead?”, she started saying, but couldn’t finish before Hange interrupted, “that was six months ago”.

That last sentence made her body temperature drop. The meaning behind her words was starting to reach her, and soon she started to panic. Petra tried to incorporate herself as her coping mind began to separate her from that moment. Before her nerves collapsed, Levi pushed himself off the wall and started walking toward her.

“You died, your body had to be left outside the walls and the enemy transformed yourself into a titan. After six months you came to devour someone who had the ability to shift like Eren, and that’s how you turned back to yourself.”

Hange gave Levi a concerned look, for he was delivering way too much information very harshly, even though she quickly realized that was his best attempt to bring her back. As he finished speaking, Levi finally looked Petra in the face. She regenerated slowlier than normal, but now her face looked as usual, if not a little bit pale. He had always been prepared to let go of anyone at any given moment, but he wasn’t ready for this.

“Hange, aren’t you busy now that you’re the new commander? How about you let me take care of her”, said Levi without taking his eyes away from Petra.

“Commander!?”, replied Petra, “Then Erwin…”

“Ah, you’re right”, said Hange with a saddened tone, “I’ll go take care of it now, you guys have a lot to talk about! See you, Petra.” This time they sounded more carefree, disappearing before Petra could say goodbye.

Rapidly her mind shifted to Ouro, Eld and Gunther… The pain was beginning to take over her, but the captain wasn't going to let her take a breath.

Levi continued to advance towards her and sitted on her bed, quite more closer than what he had really intended to. Petra felt slightly intimidated, had he stopped trusting her? “Is he trying to intimidate me?”, she thought to herself, although he just wanted to see her from up close.

“Captain… I apologize. I understood what you both said, but there are some things I can’t really grasp”.

After hearing the word “captain” Levi shuddered. That was the first time she addressed him after her death, so formal, as if… nothing had really happened. She gave her life to him once, and now that she’s given a second she’s already back on duty? His expression betrayed him this time. He had always known how devoted she was, and was aware of her fondness for him, but why now? After giving everything she had, after he had failed them, she was willing to continue believing in him? He was being dragged to a mindspace he couldn’t afford. He had to understand she hadn’t seen herself under that tree, nor falling from the chariot. That was on him.

“Petra, it is done now. You don’t need to talk to me in that manner. Your duty with humanity has been fulfilled for now. If you still want to do this, I won’t stop you, but for now you should just listen”.

His reaction softened her. She knew she probably was a titan now, but if what they said was true, they would have had to suffer her death anyways. Petra lowered her gaze, as the blood slowly returned to her cheeks. She really had to work up the courage to ask the following:

“What happened to us?”

The captain was then forced to look away. It was a most common question, but he didn't know what to answer. All the formulas that came to mind included the confession that he was not there, that he could not help them, and that he abandoned them a second time without being able to take them to their families.

“I wasn't there, but it looks like your back was broken.” He could not lie, although he chose the short version. He didn't want her to have to imagine it, even at the risk of sounding blunt. “If you want to know more, you should ask Eren.” That’s all he could give away, as he turned to face her once more.

"I see ..."

Petra bit the bullet nicely, keeping her composure. At least she was certain that Eren was fine, even though they had failed him too. She knew Levi was used to losing people along the way, and he'd had to let go of his squad as well. At least now they could carry the weight of that loss together, she thought. Then, as things started to fall into place, it suddenly hit her.

“My father!”

“We’ll take care of it. I’ll inform him personally that you’ve been miraculously found alive. We can’t really tell him the truth for now, but we’ll arrange something…”, he comforted her.

Petra’s face lightened up a little, regaining its usual beauty. She had a very close relationship with her father despite their silly arguments. She didn't want to imagine the suffering it would have caused him, and was dying to tell him she was fine. Her determination helped her feel better, since now she had in mind to go home as soon as possible.

“Thank you so much, sir. When will it be possible to go see him? I really need to let him know.”

Levi looked at her somewhat concerned, Petra's mind was jumping from one place to another, and he needed to talk with her about so many things... Things that had happened in battle, the truth about the titans, she deserved to know everything, although deep down he knew that would not satisfy him. Was there something else he wanted to tell her, or was it actually something he wanted to know?

“I’m telling you to listen. Now that you’ve eaten a shifter you have inherited their powers. As you might have guessed, that means you’re like Eren now. We can’t really lose sight of you for that. We can’t know for sure which titan you have, and as far as we know your condition seems more delicate than the others. We aren’t sure you’ll be able to transform and come back. Our only concern for now will be to make sure we don’t lose you. When the time it’s due, you’ll have to pass your power on to someone else”.

Petra saw that their conversation was far from over, and continued to listen with the same gesture of professionalism that had always accompanied her.

“There’s something more…”, continued Levi, “you can only live for thirteen more years after having inherited the powers. That’s in normal cases, so it’s very likely that you’ll have considerably less time due to your circumstances.”

Petra's eyes widened momentarily, realizing now that she would have to lose most of her freedom, and that her time was running out. It's not that she wasn't up to it, but she wondered what would become of her life. Did that mean that her father was about to lose her again? She even came to think that perhaps it would be better for him to continue thinking that she’s dead, so he wouldn’t have to bury his daughter twice.

“You will need to find a reason of your own. We’ll only ask you to keep yourself alive until we find some certainties. If everything goes on smoothly we should be able to meet with the people who transformed you. But until your time is up, you must decide how to spend it. Once you are better and clean yourself up, I will take you to see your father, if you want to”.

That comment, coupled with his visibly frustrated expression, brought Petra a small smile. They were close, and she could sense that he had cared deeply for her. As she looked at him, a chill ran through her arms. His attention always managed to move something in her. Petra felt ashamed of her own feelings, but it was obvious that she felt for him. Sometimes she belittled that affection as a childish crush, or distorted admiration. But other times, she felt that she knew him better than that, though it mortified her to admit how she had been carried away by Levi.

“I’m already starting to feel better. I will get to it as soon as possible. I would really like to get some fresh air. Is there anything else that I should know?”

Her voice was gentle, although there was some sadness to it. Guilt gnawed at Levi even though he didn't show it. Similar chills washed over him, unable to stop looking at the ghost on the bed. Erwin's death still followed him, and Petra's return had done nothing but show him a new version of hope and mourning.

They continued to talk about everything she had missed, sometimes looking into each other's eyes, sometimes avoiding their gazes. It was the first time that such a conversation took place on earth, an acquaintance bringing news to a dead person that could actually answer. There they remained, exchanging words for hours, caught up in an emotion that cannot be experienced alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! In the next chapter, as you might have already guessed, they will be visiting Petra's father. Maybe something about that letter is about to be unveiled...


	3. Between lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks after being resurrected, Petra tries to cope with the loss of her teammates, while also adjusting to her new life. Just as he promised, Levi will accompany her to visit her father, who now thinks her daughter pretended to be dead for a secret mission. During lunch, he brings up the subject of that letter…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Here’s the third chapter of Digging up a grave. This and the next one were meant to be the same, but the end result was quite long, so I’ve decided to split it. I’ll post the fourth today as well. I hope you enjoy it!

Two weeks have passed since Petra returned. Thenceforth, she had come under the protection of the army, having to put aside her former duties as a soldier until they could find some answers. Nevertheless, she had insisted on making herself useful, and had been helping with the maintenance of the barracks. After all, she was one of the few people capable of meeting the captain's standards of cleanliness…

Petra had had time to mourn her companions, and to let the missed events sink on her. Many mornings she woke up with red eyes and a puffy face, ignoring the sour looks of the recruits who suspected her. Some of them had learned her story, and couldn't help but wonder, after losing many friends, why she had been allowed to return. Something she has been wondering as well…

Most soldiers were incredibly busy at that time, having to give many explanations after the truth of their world had been unveiled, so she found herself alone in most of the rooms, except for a couple guards that followed her around. As she worked, her mind wandered to other dark corners. Every little task made her think of her squad, who were no longer there to help nor bother. All those things they had done in company, she did now alone.

Levi had also found himself doing things on his own since that day. He stopped drinking tea for a while after the blow, to eventually go back to making it for himself. Accustomed to his solitude, he felt surprised to find Petra in the kitchen reaching for the kettle at dawn. He'd been acting on automatic that morning, and he had to remind himself again that she was there, the same way he'd spent months waking up to tell himself otherwise. He was glad to see that she was better. They hadn’t seen each other since their talk in the dungeons, which now seemed so ethereal in his memory.

“Good morning there.” His words made Petra wince, for her mind had been somewhere else.

She was kneeling in front of the low cabinets, and returned his salute without hardly looking at him. It was obvious that she had been sleeping little and crying a lot. She had always been very receptive to her surroundings, but now her figure gave off an air of decay.

“I can do it myself”, he told her. Levi didn’t want to stick his nose in her business, plus surprising someone in their emotions always made him feel awkward.

"Don't worry it's fine. I'll bring it to you in a minute." She recollected herself quickly.

Levi watched her silently, as he approached to help her pick things up.

“Would you have a cup with me?” He asked, appreciating the moment he believed he could never live again.

“Sure.” She replied sweetly, slowly coming back from her saddened mind.

They drank their tea in an awkward silence, but Petra knew it was better that way, for he hated small talk even more.

“I'm sorry you had to be doing this alone.” She suddenly told him. “I’ve been doing everything alone myself lately… It sucks.”

She hadn’t realized how much she needed to talk with someone until that moment, and she really wanted it to be him on the other side.

“I still carry them on everything I do. That’s one way to deal with it.” He told her, knowing perfectly well what she was going through. His words brought some warmth to her, as she decided to follow his example once more.

“Captain. I’ve been locked in here for days, and I can barely take it like this. I need to do something else.”

“I’ve already told you what’s your position right now. Stop asking.” He needed to cut her off. Fighting or not, she was still a soldier under his command, and he couldn’t have her breaking down.

“Can I see my father then?” She asked, slightly defiant.

In normal circumstances, he would’ve grabbed her by the collar for that, but he had a soft spot for her, plus she couldn’t be blamed for whatever mindfuckery she was going through after everything.

“If you’re ready by mid day, I’ll ask Hange.”

After hearing his reply, she felt wrong for reacting like that. She didn't know what was going on with her, but there was something different... She was having a hard time keeping herself together.

“I’m sorry for… I’ll be ready by then.” She replied. Then, without losing a second, she got up and went to her dorm. Levi watched her leave, without knowing how to help her. She even had problems vocabulazing herself...

Petra tried to sleep for a couple more hours before showering and getting ready to go home. She felt joyful for for the first time in days, thinking that she might be able to take a piece of her previous life back for at least a few hours, plus Levi would be accompanying her, wasn’t this everything she had wished for before?

Once she came out of the shower, someone knocked her door. She covered herself quickly and went to open. Petra was surprised to find it was Levi, who seemed to be already dressed up for the occasion. He wore a formal but simple black suit, with his characteristic white shirt and neckerchief.

“Oh! Hello, captain, isn’t it a little bit early?”

“I’ve brought you this. We gave all your stuff back to your father, and it will be suspicious for you to not have any street clothes of your own. “

He handed her a paper bag that contained a dress quite similar to those she always used to wear when off duty. Petra had picked his clothes back then a couple times, but she was surprised to see him nail her style that nicely. “He really has an eye for detail”, she thought.

“There’s also a letter with some scheme Hange and I came with, you should memorize it.” He felt bad for having to ask her to lie to his poor father, but she seemed too entertained with that dress to care.

“Oh! I’ll take a look at this”, she said, taking the envelope, “though I must advise you, it’s better to keep quiet in front of him. He’s too good at reading between the lines…” She always sounded more cheerful whenever she talked about him.

Levi’s mind couldn't help but to remember the first time he approached him. “I wanted to discuss something with you before she sees me”, he had told him, “she said she wanted to devote herself to you, even though that’s her pride talking… as her father-”

“Thank you, Captain Levi. I’ll be ready as soon as possible.” Her words brought him back from that flashback as she closed the door in front of him. This time she seemed more excited, and her mood had improved quite a lot from that talk they had in the morning. Levi went back to work, still thinking about what her father could have read between the lines of that letter.

xxxxxxxxx

About an hour later, Levi was standing on the same spot. Petra’s door opened before he could even knock, and she stepped outside to meet him. She looked much more fresh after gaining some sleep, and the femenine cut of her dress did wonders to her figure. For some, it would’ve been hard to envision such a “girly girl” as one of the fiercest soldiers the legion has ever had. For some others, that contrast was exactly what made her seem so versatile and fascinating, Levi within them. It’s important to remark that it wasn’t just a matter of appearance, as her personality could easily meet both extremes as well.

They started walking together, and left the building using a discrete back entrance, to get as little attention as possible. Underneath, a carriage was waiting for them.

“We have communicated your return beforehand to him, we don’t want your dad to have a heart attack before you’re even able to talk. Have you memorized our version of events?” Levi asked about halfway through their journey.

Petra nodded. “It’s quite hard to believe, but I guess the truth it’s even less believable.”

They didn’t want the enemy to find out that easily that they had found the lost titan, so they wouldn’t leak the true information outside some trusted circles of the army. They have told the rest that Petra had gone undercover in a mission they could not disclassify yet, and that they had used the death of Levi’s squad to erase her as well. In order to protect her and her father, they had had to lie to him as well. They also included some minor details in order to make it more believable, although it was advised to not give much away. It wasn’t difficult to let it slip, considering that most of the soldiers who had seen her body back then were trusted individuals or already dead…

They both stared at their scripts as they made their way through the fields. Soon enough, Petra got distracted by the familiar view of her land. Her father had a small farm he used for his own supply and some sales. Levi watched as her face brightened, finally kissed by the outside sun. She suddenly turned to look at him with a big smile and said:

“I’m glad to be coming back, and I’m really happy that you’re joining me, captain.”

Levi couldn’t have imagined how much she had dreamed of introducing him to her father, or inviting him to dinner back then, but he thought it was kind of sweet for her to say that.

She kept looking outside the window with a tender smile. Although the sky was gray, the field looked incredibly green, and a couple of houses could be seen in the distance. She had walked that road so many times… At one side of it, Petra’s house started to appear on the horizon, and she saw the figure of a man running towards them. Levi quickly catched the change in her expression, but it was too late. Petra opened the door of the carriage and jumped out while it was still moving.

“OI, PETRA!” He screamed as he jumped behind her.

When he hit the ground, he saw her running towards his father, who was already starting to lose his breath. He stayed still next to the carriage that had already stopped by then, and told the driver to leave. From afar, Levi saw Petra hug her father who seemed just as nervous as the first time he saw him. He started walking slowly towards them, noticing that they were both crying. He decided to remain just as far enough to listen without interrupting.

“My girl! my girl I can’t believe it… You don’t know it, everyday… everyday I’ve missed you so much!” He batherly could keep himself standing between his daughter’s arms as he cried inconsolably.

“I’m so so sorry papa, but you couldn’t know… I couldn’t let anything happen to you. I am so sorry. I am fine…”

Levi felt displaced as he watched them. It was obvious that the two had a bond he had never been able to experience.

“Look papa, I’ve come with captain Levi, he’s in charge of my safety for the day… He offered himself to bring me home.”

“Ah… Hello, captain… I remember him from that time yeah…” He had just realized Levi was there, and tried his best to welcome him despite being a mess of emotions.

“Hi.” Levi answered, visibly uncomfortable. He had always been awkward, but this time he really didn’t know how to react. When Petra died, he couldn’t mutter a single word while he tried to speak with him, it was someone else who had told him… All of these things he didn’t talk with Petra, who looked at him rather surprised to learn that they’ve met before.

“Ah… I- I didn’t know that!” She was unable to lie, but tried to seem chill about it, because she knew that her father was… well… prone to embarrass her, even when he bore the best of wills.

“I’ve been waiting for you since morning! I didn’t have much at home but I told the people of the village you were coming and they brought a lot of stuff! Oh Petra, they’re all crazy to see you…”

Petra's nerves shot up. “Dad! You weren’t supposed to tell anyone.” She looked at Levi fearing for his reaction.

“I- ugh… Yeah, but when they asked what happened, when they saw me… I couldn’t- ”

“Unbelievable. We’ll let this pass for now, but you need to understand you’re endangering her by revealing her location.” Levi cut him.

Petra’s father was visibly affected by his words.

“Don’t worry captain, I’m sure that If he talks with the people around here, they won’t say a word. These are all trustworthy people, and there aren’t much of us.” Petra tried to reassure him.

“You’re right! I will ask them as soon as possible, if your captain is okay…”

“Fine.” Levi said in defeat. There wasn’t much he could do given the situation.

“Please, come inside home!” He said without letting go of his daughter. “You too, captain Levi, I’ve been told about your mannerisms, and I can assure you that the house is spotless!”

Levi was surprised to find out how much information Petra had been delivering to her father, while her face started to burn bright red.

“Papa! Please, don’t say those things. I am sorry captain!” They turned around and started walking towards their place, as Petra keeped to reprimand her father in a lowerer tone for his comment.

The little farm was surely adorable, a place someone would imagine Petra coming from. The interior received a good amount of natural light, and as soon as they entered, a table full of food awaited for them. Levi kept following them a couple steps behind.

“Oh, kids, you better not do this to me never again… I’m already old, and you’ve managed to take more years of my life.” He said as he started to serve the table. “Please sit.”

“There’s no need papa, let me help you.” Petra said as she rushed into the kitchen.

Levi, once again, sat there feeling awkward. These kinds of reunions weren’t his thing at all, although it was nice to see them together once more. After bringing everything that was missing, they started to eat. Petra and his father talked effusively about whom in the village had brought each thing. As they conversated, Levi started to see how Petra slowly shifted into her more natural version. She sounded more youthful and sassy… The same version of her he always saw from afar whenever she was with her teammates. He thought it was nice to experience her like this, from up close, when she’s unbothered by his presence.

“Ah… excuse my manners, Levi.” Started Petra’s father after realizing they were alienating him. “I don’t think I’ve told you before, but my name is Elias.”

Levi still didn’t know how to include himself in the conversation, even after being addressed directly.

“Nice to meet you… I’m Levi Ackerman, although you seem to know a great deal about me already....”

Petra blushed at his remark, but she also was shocked to learn about that surname. It was the first time he gave away something like that.

“Oh! I thought you had another surname… Where are you from, Levi?”

“Papa, he doesn’t really like to talk about him. How about you better update me on that bet you made with uncle Ben?” Petra tried to help Levi there, but he didn’t care.

“I used to live underground. I didn’t have much left there when I joined the Survey Corps by petition of the previous commander.”

Petra’s eyes widened, she had never seen him talk about his past, and was moved to finally learn something about him. It was obvious that he felt he had some kind of debt with them, why else would he feel the need to answer?

“I see… It must have been hard for you. Although I am glad you found your way out and became Petra’s leader. From what she says… well… I think everyone at this point, your abilities are truly amazing, and you must be an exceptional leader if you’ve been able to inspire my girl like that.”

Petra felt her face burning again. “Dad, could you please don’t bring me up like that?…”

“Oh! But com’on, after that last letter you sent me, you left me truly worried. I even felt the need to discuss it with him…”

Petra’s blood fell into her feet, he had done what?

“Dad, have you actually...?” She asked him, terrified of his answer.

“Ah, yes… I’m sorry, Petra. I just wanted him to know, so you wouldn’t get hurt. You see... captain, that time I was concerned about her “devotion” to you.”

Levi began to feel uncomfortable once more, as he started to become the total center of the conversation.

“DAD.” Petra looked at him horrified, her face completely red. “I‘ve already told you one hundred times, I wanted to devote myself to humankind. That was my dream.” She continued, trying to downplay it.

“And you did! You even were chosen for his squad and that... mission… But you have to admit there was very little “humanity” and a lot of “Levi” in there… Well, there always was” Elias said, progressively lowering his tone.

Petra thought she was going to literally die, as Levi remained quiet on the other side of the table. She needed to find a way out of that conversation as soon as possible, but her father was, once again, faster.

“I didn’t want to lose you. That 's all… Ever since you joined the Survey Corps... You know how high the mortality is there. I always knew you were strong Petra, but I also wanted you to get a chance in life. Something, more… I prayed for you to come back every time. But suddenly, you started to talk about him. At the beginning it was a character more in the stories of your letters, but suddenly, he dragged you. All you wanted to do was to serve by his side, you were willing to die for him, and for a long time, Petra, I thought you did.”

Levi’s stoic expression began to crack.

“You’re my only child. The absolute light of my life, and I had to live with the thought of you being eaten alive every day. I wanted for you to get through that to then come home, and to finally be able to put it to rest. I never wanted to pressure you to lead a life you didn't want... But one day, you found out there your reason to live, and to die, and I couldn’t do anything... The way you talked about him… I knew you weren’t coming back.”

Petra’s eyes softened, visibly moved by her father’s words. She knew it must have been hard for him to endure, and, after all, he had guessed her feelings perfectly… At the same time, Levi was thinking back again about that day, when Elias approached him for the first time.

He had always known Petra to be kind, so he didn’t feel that he was an exception. He thought that she probably was able to read people’s feelings, and wanted to show them her understanding, just as she had done for so many comrades. It wasn't until that talk that he dared to think, for the first time, that she had loved him. With the passage of time, he started to think that pain had played a trick on him back then, and that it had only been the words of a concerned father, but now his suspicions resurrected.

“Back then…” Levi started. “Were you going to ask me to marry her?”

Petra turned his head violently towards her captain, who was now directly looking at her father. Elias lowered his gaze, not wanting to embarrass his daughter any further. Petra then got up, visibly frustrated at the two of them.

“I’m going to say this only once, so you both listen to me carefully.” She said with a fiery look on her eyes. “My personal feelings are not of your concern, you listen? I’m not letting an intimate confession come in the way of all my work, and my sacrifice.”

That last remark tingled Levi’s senses, he knew that was for him.

“Everything I did, I did as a soldier, as a companion, and as a friend. Nothing more. I don’t need for you to take responsibility for how I feel. If I want to believe in someone, then I will, and If I want to marry them, I can ask them myself.”

Both men sat in silence, as Petra took complete control over that conversation. Her words sounded strong and disciplined, once again demonstrating the incredible determination that she possessed, even when she was in such a vulnerable moment. Levi knew perfectly well that she was capable of taking charge of her feelings, after all, that had been one of the reasons he chose her in the first place.

“Good for me then, Petra.” He told her, respecting her decision to end the matter there.

“You’re right… Please forgive me.” Said Elias, shortly after.

“You guys should try this apple pie! Ilse’s sweets are always good.” Petra spoke once again, putting the best face she could to lighten the mood.

In a short time, the intensity of the atmosphere began to dissipate, leading to something more festive. The three of them struck up simpler conversations as the hours passed. Levi watched them surprisingly relaxed, thinking about how such a gloomy memory could have led to such a funny scene.

Once finished, Petra insisted on helping her father with some farm work. Levi knew the carriage would be picking them up shortly, but he decided to let it pass. When the driver arrived, he gestured for him to turn around, leaving Petra and Elias to enjoy a few more hours together. Later, he himself would accompany her on foot to the barracks.

The hours went by as Petra and her father happily shared their tasks. Elias had been the third person who had found himself doing things alone since that day... But right now, they had each other again. Levi decided to help them too, looking from afar the family that would’ve welcomed him.


	4. A last chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has done everything he can to give her this day. His last favor? To let her enjoy the walk back, even if it comes with an unexpected ending ... Once they’ve returned, Petra will have the opportunity to meet with Eren, with whom she now shares a common destiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the fourth chapter of Digging up a grave! I posted the previous one today as well. From now on, I will have less time to write, so I will upload chapters about once a week. I hope you like it! <3

The afternoon was passing without major incidents. Some people showed up at the farmhouse to see Petra, resulting in a great deal of tears. Levi kept his distance from them, watching everything from the railing of the orchard. Every once in a while a few single words would come to him ... "Is that Captain Levi?" Some asked. "Girl, you will stay a couple days at least, right?" Others begged. Petra responded with kindness and great diplomacy to all their questions, without breaking the hugs she continued to receive from her father.

Taking advantage of the fact that Elias was busy talking to the neighbors, Petra took the opportunity to go check on Levi. She came running across the field, and by seeing her, Levi could easily visualize how her childhood could’ve been.

"Captain!" She yelled as she arrived. "I don't like to see you here all alone, you can come ... These people won't bother you much."

“We should be going now… We’re already going to be later than expected.”

Petra felt a little bit saddened, but she knew that Levi had been stretching this as long as he could for her.

“I know… I’ll go tell my father.”

“You’re already going?” Said Elias, who was already approaching them. “I really wanted you to stay… I don’t want to see you go so early once more.”

“Don’t worry, papa. I won’t be fighting for now, so you don’t have anything to fear. I promise you I will come to visit everytime I can! I’ll keep writing to you!” She tried to console him as she hugged him again. “I’m really lucky to be back…” She said, as tears came into her eyes.

“I’m glad to see you too, darling. Please, captain Levi, keep taking care of her.”

“Don’t worry…” He lied, knowing that her time was running out, no matter what he did...

Finally, they said goodbye at the front door, but not before Elias gave them a bag full of black tea and some vegetables. It was bittersweet to see the man standing in the middle of the road, watching his daughter leave again, although Petra would turn from time to time to wave at him.

“Thank you for taking me home… I am sorry that it got kind of weird, but I had a really great time.” She told Levi when they had been walking for a while.

“You don't have to thank me... You need to enjoy it while you're still here.” He answered her.

“I know this is hard for you, but I wish you would take those ideas out of your head for now, so you can enjoy while I’m here as well.”

Levi raised his pupils to meet her eyes. She was right, although he couldn't help but fear losing her again.

“What I mean is, that I hope this doesn’t change anything.” Petra told him, without wanting to miss a moment of his gaze.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He was playing dumb, knowing it was better for both that way.

Petra smiled. She could read him like an opened book. Levi also knew perfectly well that she could guess him easily, but he didn’t care. He never intended to hide from her, anyway.

Petra sighted as they made their way back, she had wondered why Levi sent de carriage back instead of telling the driver to wait. Now they had a good way to go, and it was beginning to get dark. Although if he had risked doing so, it was because he had no doubt that they would be safe. She then remembered telling him that she wanted to get some fresh air back in her cell, maybe that was why.

“You really do listen to me, don’t you?” She ventured to tell him.

“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do.” Levi replied.

Elias wasn't the only Ral who could read between lines, he thought.

They kept walking as the night fell on them. From time to time, they exchanged a few words, especially topics related to the army and recent events. Petra felt that her limbs had become lighter, the visit and the walk had managed to clear her mind. Besides, she had spent a whole day with Levi. It didn't even affect her that much that she had to half confess her feelings.

Luckily, they reached the city before it was fully dark, so when the night sky fell on them, some street lights still allowed them to see their path. The temperature dropped drastically, and soon it started raining. What had started out as a pleasant walk, quickly turned into a fiasco as the intensity of the rain intensified. They were in a fairly residential area, without much place to shelter. Realizing that walking through that storm was not the best idea, Petra pointed to a small covered portal, where they decided to stay until it subsided.

“Let 's go!” She told him, before running towards it, visibly amused by the situation. Levi followed her, concerned about her wet cleavage, fearing it would result in some fever. She hopped under the small space while trying to leave enough room for him as well. He then tried to accommodate himself next to her, while running his fingers through his wet hair. Petra glanced at him, thinking that her day had definitely improved…

They stood very close to each other under the ledge. The street was already deserted by those hours, and anyone who had seen them from afar, would have thought they were a lovely couple having fun.

The space was so small that Petra had to stand on her tiptoes to fit. Levi wondered if he should grab her waist to help her balance, as an excuse if only. Once he made up his mind, his gesture was gentle, stopping her swaying by putting his arm around her.

Petra had to make sure that that was really happening. She felt her nerves tingling through her body at full speed, and her cheeks lit up for the tenth time that day. Shyly, she placed her hands on him for more comfort. Had she turned her head towards him in that moment, their faces would have been millimeters apart.

“Breathe.” He told her after a while.

Petra's heart skipped a beat when she realized that she had indeed stopped breathing. She looked at the empty streets and the closed shops, while she felt his warmth, having the certainty that she would treasure that moment forever. Levi began to regret his decision as he became slightly flustered, but he could sense that she was enjoying the moment serenely, which brought some peace to himself as well. They held each other for the next few minutes, and as the intensity of the rain decreased, their hearts raced a bit more.

Then, perhaps carried away by the tenderness of the moment, Petra turned to him with complete confidence. "We should continue walking, it has stopped a bit. " She spoke softly to his ear. At least by saying that, she didn’t feel like she was forcing him to stay like that...

“We’ll really have to walk these muddy streets, don’t we?”, he answered, without moving in the slightest...

Petra's chest burned with excitement.... Did he really just dodge her suggestion there?

They stayed there in silence, as they came to the realization that they both wanted to be like that. Petra debated whether to risk it and fully lean on him, although she knew it was entirely inappropriate, especially considering that he was there as her bodyguard mainly…

“Let 's go.”

With those words Levi snapped Petra out of her reverie. Her spirits deflated as he released her, watching him leap down onto the street. Petra stayed up there for a few more seconds, still clinging to what had happened before. Levi yanked his jacket back, almost being able to feel her gaze in his back. Petra's eyes focused on the collar of his shirt, his neck, and the gradual trim on his messy wet hair. She swallowed hard, dying for something more...

As she slowly perished, Levi turned around and said, “Are you going to come, or are you going to leave me here dripping? It’s late.”

“Oh. I’ll leave you there.”

Immediately, Petra got off the step and started walking in the rain, advancing him. The rain came like a blessing on her burning skin, while Levi began to follow her with confidence that he had screwed up. He couldn’t believe his ears. When had she gotten that bold with him? In that moment Levi became aware of how much he had affected her. It was obvious enough already that something was going on between them. Certainly, he must have felt stupid. After everything they'd been through, he had still needed those ten minutes under that ledge to figure it out.

He accelerated his pace a little until he was next to her. When he reached, he looked at her profile... Her face was beautiful. They walked on in silence, confirming to each other that they had been partakers of a forbidden moment.

They continued their journey until they arrived at the back door of the barracks. Petra opened it and held it as her captain came in behind her. The space was narrow, communicating directly with the stairs that went up to a higher level. Levi closed the door behind him, while Petra waited. For a moment, they stood next to each other in the orange light. He took off his jacket while she hugged herself, shivering.

They both knew that this was their last chance, and she hoped he would…

Levi started walking up the stairs, breaking Petra's hopes once more. She was perfectly aware that she had been surpassing herself with him all day, and that she needed to stop. Her grief, and whatever was going down on her brain, had gotten into her. She was embarrassed to have defined herself as a disciplined soldier back at her place, to now be acting like that.

However, when she was ready to follow him, Levi’s initially determined pace slowed down, stopping about five steps later. Petra looked up in disbelief, as he turned to face her, slightly frustrated with himself.

Petra gently dropped her arms to her sides, ready for what was about to come. The hardness in Levi's expression faltered as his strength drained. Leaving the mask that had hidden his fears as transparent as crystal. Unable to stop looking at her, he made the pretense of diving down the stairs-

“HI GUYS IT’S LATE! WE WERE WORRIED HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?” Hange screams down the hall cut him bluntly. The moment broke, and they both regained their composure. Hange's presence had finally brought them back to the Survey Corps, making them feel exposed for the decision they were about to make seconds ago.

“Were you waiting for us, shitty glasses?” Levi tried to sound normal as he gathered himself in shame.

“Ooh, what kind of welcoming is that? It’s my job to make sure that you bring her back safely! How’s your father, Petra?” Said Hange as they appeared from the stairwell.

Petra, who had by then hugged herself again, replied, “ah- He’s fine. He really had a rough time… It was great to see him.”

The commander rapidly realized something was off with them both, but they let it slip, not before throwing a look of terrifying intelligence at Levi. He caught their reprimand at once, wondering to himself how much could they have figured out… After all, Levi knew he had taken the liberty to send back an empty carriage so Petra could breathe a little more.

“Well, I’m glad you both guys are back, please head back to your rooms, it’s late.”

Hange sounded as carefree as usual, but it was obvious that they had talked to them as two young cadets… Levi let out a frustrated "tsk" before continuing his way. They went to their dorms without saying goodbye, tortured by the memory of the surreal night they had gone through.

After Petra entered her room, she took her dress slowly. It still smelled like him. It felt weird to see it outside her body. That was the dress he had chosen specifically for her, the one she wore while he held her…. The wet fabric started to materialize before her eyes everything she had lived through the past few hours. She put on her borrowed nightgown, and proceeded to sit on the edge of her bed, incapable of lying down without knowing what would have happened if Hange hadn't interrupted them. That horrible heat didn’t seem to leave her skin, making her think that perhaps she had caught fever.

Finally, knowing that she was not going to be able to sleep at the moment, she decided to leave her room. While she was doing it, she was not sure where she was heading, perhaps to get a glass of water, or perhaps to Levi's room... To clarify the matter.

She went down the stairs, and passed through the hall where his room was located, but she didn't have the courage to knock on his door. Perhaps after she relaxed a bit she could try again, the captain hardly slept anyway. From the other side of the door, Levi heard her steps, wondering if he should go fetch her.

Petra came into the kitchen where they had tea that same morning. The metal lattice windows let in the moonlight, efficiently lighting the space. She proceeded to grab a glass of water and drank as she looked at the landscape between the bars. She heard footsteps approaching, and she stood up quickly, with her heart pounding, hoping it was Levi.

Finally, the sleepless face of Eren appeared through the door frame. Petra was stunned, though happy to see him again. Eren looked at her with those huge eyes that always gave away his feelings before he could even say a word.

“Petra…” He said unable to hide his astonishment. He had learned about her return, but it was a completely different thing to see it for himself.

Petra went up to him, and hugged him. Even she felt surprised to see how much seeing the boy had moved her. After all, he was with them that time...

“Hello, Eren… I’m so glad to see that you’re fine.” She said, trying to ease him with her greeting. Levi had told her he saw them die… She had told him to trust them, but she failed him.

Eren grabbed her by the arms, as tears came up to his eyes. “Petra… I am so sorry. I saw you…”

Petra saw the fear in his eyes… She still didn’t fully know how things had gone down, and she felt herself shiver a bit after seeing the horror in his expression.

“I made the wrong choice… I wanted to trust you… and I couldn’t stop Annie.” His grip was so strong it began to hurt her. She saw something had changed within him as well, and it saddened her to realize how much he would’ve suffered during this time.

“You couldn’t have known Eren. Plus there’s no guarantee that we would’ve survived anyways. You had problems back then controlling your powers, and the captain told me you had a hard time during your first fight.”

Eren felt totally impotent, and Petra felt terrible to make him relieve his trauma.

“I saw it, I saw you when the titan crushed you into a tree.”

Petra's stomach clenched shut, followed by a terrible giddy feeling. Eren didn’t know she wasn’t aware of the details… There was the truth she craved.

“Isn’t this power terrible, Petra? Look at us… Only an infernal force could do that to a person, and then undo it.”

Her hands started to shake. That was the reason why she had returned, the power of a titan. She was transformed and then ate a human with that power as well... For the first time, Petra realized the magnitude of her burden. She could see it in Eren's eyes, there were things that he knew that she still couldn't even imagine.

“Eren, you need to focus. Please don't worry about us. We did everything we could, and I'm glad you trusted me, even though I ended up failing you too. Now there is nothing else we can do, just keep trying to make the right choices. Maybe I should have trusted you more that day, maybe it was my fault Eren... But now that I've been given another chance, I promise I won’t fail their memory nor you ever again.”

Years of experience had hardened her, and she had learned to draw courage from where there was none when the situation required it. Her words calmed Eren down a bit, which was a great achievement.

“Hey… Petra… You have your own titan now, isn’t it? Do you see them?” Eren said, hideous terror reflected in his huge eyes once more.

Petra’s expression shifted to worrisome. “I- I don’t know what you mean…”

She then recalled her visions while she was in the forest, and those vivid nightmares. Maybe that was it.

“It’s nothing. Nevermind.” He brushed it off quickly, praying that she ignored his previous question so they wouldn’t have to delve into it. Neither her nor Armin seemed to experience the same vivid memories he did, aside from some nightmares. After all, Eren himself couldn’t remember his conversion for years.

“I’m just glad to see you again…”

As he said that last sentence, he reached out for a handshake. Petra felt a bit saddened when she saw how he tried to end their conversation there, but decided it was fine given his emotional state.

“Me too, Eren.” She told him, reaching out to return his gesture. But when their hands touched, a small lighting came out of them, and suddenly they both saw the same vivid memory… An image that certainly couldn’t be from the past. A promise that something was due to happen…

Petra and Eren stared into each other's eyes in fear. Time stopped as they realized the other knew. Eren’s eyes became teary as his voice shaked, “No… Please, I can’t-”

Levi interrupted them by opening the door abruptly, he had been listening to their conversation for a while, since he had finally decided to follow Petra.

“Hey you both it’s late, time to go back to your dorms.”

By the end of that sentence, he realized something was off. Petra turned to face the captain as white as a sheet.

“Y- yes sir, we’ll be going now. It was nice to see you, Eren... It’s fine.” Petra gave Eren the warmest look she could, as he stared her back in utter terror. She lowered her gaze and left the room fastly, without even looking at Levi.

Levi saw that Eren held the same expression he gave after kissing Historia’s hand ... He knew something was wrong with him, but why was Petra involved? Once the boy moderately regained his senses, he walked out the kitchen as well. Levi watched as they both went off in opposite directions, and decided to follow Petra once more, while keeping some distance. He couldn’t let shit fly over his head with the given circumstances.

He saw her run upstairs and rush into her room, without even bothering to close the door. Adrenaline spiked through his body. What the hell had just happened? Maybe she had learned about their deaths in detail and felt sick, but his instincts told him there was something else.

Levi peeked out her door slightly, and saw Petra vomiting on the sink. After seeing her state, he decided to enter. She realized he was there, and turned to look at him for a thousandth of a second, before throwing up again.

“Did you find out?” He asked, in a softer tone than usual.

Petra started crying, bent over the sink, trying to stand up while hyperventilating. Levi froze. He hadn’t seen her like that since their first mission together… But as she continued to cry, he realized that he had never seen her like that at all.

“I can’t Levi.” She called him by his name. “I don’t want to die… It can’t be, no- no- no please, not like that.”

Levi couldn’t move from where he standed. He knew what she was thinking about. As much as he wanted to reprimand her, to tell her to be brave, he had to admit it did torture him too.

He walked slowly towards her, and held her shaking body from behind. His grip made her cry even harder... How did she sink so low? How was she letting him see her like that? They slowly descended together until they reached the ground, Petra leaning on him, in deathly silence.


	5. Trust me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “From personal experience, promises are no good, but they’re necessary.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Here’s the fifth chapter of Digging up a grave. First of all, thank you once more for all the comments and kudos! The story might be a little longer than what I had originally planned, it almost writes itself alone... We’re probably more than halfway through, and as you have seen, things are starting to blow up a bit! I also will be changing Hange's pronouns to they/them. 
> 
> Enjoy <3

Levi hugged Petra, leaning against the side of her bed, trying to calm her down. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the darkened room, and Levi had started stroking the back of her neck gently, fighting to not let her fear drag him down as well. He had sent many companions to die throughout his life, and it felt horrible to have to feel her like this, against him, so tender and fragile all of a sudden, knowing that he would have to ask her to die once more.

When she calmed down a bit, Petra pulled away from her captain's arms and went to wash her mouth. Levi remained silent, feeling responsible for that gesture ... Returning, Petra tried to maintain her composure, in an attempt to reclaim the pride she had left. She stood before him, searching for the right words to explain what had happened. Levi got up, and moved closer to her. He didn’t want his presence to leave her, not even for a second.

“What have you seen?” He asked, giving her time to respond.

Petra swallowed, tensing her chest. “It will be Eren… I will pass my powers to him. I saw him eating me.”

As she finished speaking, she tried to look at him in the eye, but failed. She felt such a coward. He had already explained to her how the process was going to go. There were more shifters on her position right now, younger than her even, and she was the one losing her shit over it. Levi couldn’t help but to feel slightly enraged. He believed Eren to be their hope, they would’ve never reached this far without him, but he was beginning to get fed up with the trail of blood that was being left in his name.

“I guess this is one way to pay my debt. I’ve failed you all back then. Somehow, now I’ve been able to bring you the power of another titan, and I’ll keep it until I can deliver it to him.”

She really was worthy of admiration, Levi thought, but he hated to see her bend over her domed faith like that.

“You know…” She started once more. “When I joined the legion, I always knew this could happen. But it wasn’t a certainty… There was a chance for me to survive. It’s different to endure this after knowing that there’s no way out, and having seen it... It’s different from this side, isn’t it?”

Levi felt like shit, but tried not to show it. He wasn’t as good as Erwin when it came to motivating people to charge towards their deaths.

“There’s still time. A lot of things have changed during these months. Not too long ago, you were dead already, and every possibility had been shut, but you’re here now. I don’t doubt your determination to die for our cause, but don’t give your life that easy either. You should hold on. We might find a way to save you…” He tried to cheer her up, while also wishing to himself.

“You’re right…” She drew a sad smile. “You know… You’ve always been able to bring out the best of me. That’s one of the reasons I’ve always loved to work by your side.”

Levi melted a little. Ever since she realized that death was closing in on her, Petra had lost the fear of speaking.

“I’m glad that you’re by my side as well.” He told her, and although his words sounded kind of dry, he really meant it.

Petra's mood lightened a bit, and she took her hands to her chest, as if she were trying to ease her affection. “Levi, about what happened today…”

His nerves raced. Whatever was about to go down on those stairs, it had been irresponsible of them. He couldn't get her out of his head. Ever since her return, his hyper-fixation on her had worsened, perhaps out of trauma. On the other hand, Petra was becoming a bit reckless, she had nothing else to lose after all. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he couldn’t let this go any further.

“I take responsibility for that.”

That’s all he could come out with. Levi wasn’t even sure of what he was taking responsibility for. He didn't even know what he would have done once he had met her downstairs.

“For what exactly? What was that?” She asked.

“We are not going to dwell into that, Petra. It’s the last thing we need right now.”

She let out a strong sight, trying to keep her focus. His closeness had been driving her insane all day. She was afraid of seeing how much she was losing herself. She had never behaved like that before, all of this was making her lose her mind.

“I see, that’s good. I’m fine already, so… Thank you for your help. You should go back and try to get some sleep, captain.” She said as she started walking towards her bed.

“So, I’m back to being the captain?” Levi thought.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to stay? You better not do anything stupid.” He asked.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

He looked at her for a moment, unconvinced... “You know what? That’s for me to decide.” He said as he sat on the chair on the corner of her dorm.

Petra looked at him slightly offended. “I won’t be able to sleep, if you’re staring at me from there!”

“Shut up.”

Uncomfortable as she was, Petra closed her eyes and tried to recreate in her imagination the feeling of his fingers when he caressed the back of her neck. Once in a while, she opened her eyes to look at him, and saw him sitting with his eyes shut and his arms crossed over his chest. After a while, she got up slowly and walked towards her wardrobe.

“What are you doing?” He asked, without opening his eyes.

Petra winced a bit after realizing he wasn’t sleeping. “I’m reaching for a blanket.” She spoke softly. She grabbed it from the top shelves and then proceeded to place the fabric delicately over him.

“I will never understand how you’re able to perform that nicely with these sleeping habits of yours…” Petra turned back to her bed, happy to have been able to grasp another interaction with him. Levi thought of some blunt answer, but decided to keep his pouty mouth shut this time. When they started to work together, he often had found himself feeling guilty for snapping at her automatically, as a result of his defense mechanism. With the passing of time, he had grown to behave himself around her, for he had learned that her words never intended to harm him.

xxxxxxxxxx

Hours passed, and they were finally able to get some sleep. Before long, the dawn light began to shine through the window, awaking Levi. Without making any noise, he checked on Petra once before leaving her room.

He started his routine going downstairs. On his way, Levi passed the commander’s office. He knocked softly on the door before entering, and saw Hange hiding a bottle in the drawer.

“A tough night for you too?” He asked, pretending to not have seen it.

“Yeah, I guess…” She was visibly exhausted, and the desk was a whole mess. “Erwin kept this place much more pleasant. Wonder how he did that… “ They laughed, incorporating themselves. “Anyways, what’s the matter?”

Levi approached the desk and sat in front of them, letting Hange know that he accompanied them in their turmoils.

“Yesterday, Eren and Petra met. I listened to them from a distance, and it seems that they were able to see something, from the future. Petra told me she saw Eren eating her.” Hange stared at him very seriously, with their hands covering their lips.

“Well… At least she’s talking to you. Eren hasn’t muttered a word so far about these memories. He might say something once in a while, but he surely is keeping more to himself… Is she alright?”

“Yes. She’s willing to do it.”

“You weren’t in your room last night.” Hange said, sending rushes of cold down Levi’s back.

“I kept taking care of her. At first, she was very upset, and I feared that she was going to do something about it on her own.” He said, keeping his serious expression.

“We both know you trust her better than that.” Hange replied, leaning towards him once more. “I need to be able to keep trusting you too, Levi, so please, don’t keep things from me. If this is too much for you, tell me.”

Levi’s small eyes opened. He lowered his head, realizing that Hange needed him as much as Petra. He knew he could share everything with them, but there were things he was afraid to admit even to himself.

“Don’t worry. We’re both just a little tired. You can count on me.” He told them.

“Glad to know it, because I am thinking about trying Petra’s titan... We will ask for her consent first, of course. There’s a chance that they don’t even know much about her powers either. After all, why wouldn’t they transform one of our soldiers if not as a guinea pig. We should take the lead, and find out for ourselves. We might need her abilities later.”

Levi remained in silence for a second… “What if she gets fucked up?”

“Eren will devour her, and her vision will come true... But now that she has seen her death, she might be able to tell us if he ate her as a human, or as a titan. That way we can make sure she will be able to come back. If she saw something that might indicate this will fail, we’ll drop the idea… So, will you ask her, Levi?”

Levi’s jaw clenched, knowing that this might save her later on, or kill her right away. “I will talk with her.”

“Thank you, Levi. I feel like shit for asking you to do this.” Hange sighted.

“Don’t worry. If Petra hasn’t lost her conviction after all of this, she probably never will.” As he said this, Levi headed out the office.

xxxxxxxxxx

Petra’s head hurt a bit from all the crying. Her mornings were still hard, but she tried her best to keep on doing her little tasks. She was in the communal dining room when Levi entered. When she saw him, she automatically suspected something was wrong. His gaze was grim, and his hands were hidden in the pockets of his long uniform raincoat, something he always did when he got nervous. Petra had learned to read his gestures a long time ago, and she loved to get a little head start on that.

“Good morning, captain Levi. Were you able to rest a bit?”

“Yes…. Good morning, Petra. We need to talk. You’re going to rejoin us.”

“Oh! Oh…” Petra’s body tensed as she cracked the meaning behind his words. “Were you able to find something out?”

“No… But Hange asked me if you'd be willing to test your titan regardless. We’re pretty much ready, we just need your consent, and to know exactly what you saw in your vision. When Eren ate you, were you a human or a titan?”

“Human.”

Levi sighed, half relieved. “Did you see anything that might indicate to us that it might take place during the test?”

“You’re planning for him to eat me if I fail?”

Levi realized he wasn’t putting it correctly. By hiding the nasty parts, he made it seem as if he was lying to her.

“No. That would only be if you aren’t able to come back. Let’s say, if your body gets fused with the titan. That’s why we want to ask for your consent first, and to know in more detail what you saw.”

“Then I should be the one making the questions, don’t you think? You tell me what you have in mind, and then I tell you if it fits with my vision. Altering details only to not make the scenery match, won’t change anything.” Petra sounded heavily decided. She was applying his advice, and was thinking about not giving her life away that easily.

“We have been exterminating all the titans left outside these walls. We’ll be going outside soon, and you will be joining us. We will take the chance there to try your powers in the open. If you go berserk, I will take you out myself. If you can’t be taken out, Eren will eat you. That’s the deal.”

Petra took a deep breath. “I will do it. It doesn’t match.”

Levi’s shoulders softened a bit, hoping for her to be right. She hadn’t doubted for a second.

Petra raised her hand and looked at it from up close, remembering when she tried to imitate Eren by biting it. She did it so hard, she left a mark in there for days. She couldn’t have imagined back then...

“When are we going, captain?”

“I’ll let you know soon.”

She was excited to be back. She was born a fighter, and her body craved the effort, the harsh training. Levi thought of asking her what she had seen exactly once more.

“So… Will I be joining your squad?” She overtook him.

“For now, you might. You’re one of the few experienced soldiers left, and after the recent events, you can be considered a veteran in comparison to the rest. If the experiments carry out well, you might be having a squad of your own.”

Petra took a few moments to absorb his words. Was she going to be promoted? She couldn't help but feel proud, although she was disappointed to think that they weren't going to be as close.

“Ah- I’m surprised. Thank you! I will be doing my best...” She blushed a little, she couldn’t stop talking as a subordinate. She had always been good with teammate work, but wasn’t sure of how much of a leader she actually was. Petra had to start to psych herself up and change her patterns. Was she trustworthy enough? After all, she had died with her squad after pushing Eren to make the wrong choice…

“Do you think people will follow a dead soldier?” She asked him.

“Even the best of them die, Petra. You’re the only one here who has already given her life once, and still you’ve found the courage to fight again. Isn’t that conviction strong enough?”

“Would you trust me, Levi? If I promise you to come back, and succeed with these experiments?”

“From personal experience, promises are no good, but they’re necessary.” He answered, remembering his promise to Erwin of killing the beast titan. He had failed, but hadn’t he trusted him, they wouldn’t have had a chance.

“So yes, I trust you, Petra.”

Her chest rejoiced with pride, she needed to hear that. That was all she needed to redeem herself. Levi looked into her eyes, as she smiled at him, while something else flourished inside him. Petra noticed something on his look, making her cheeks rosier. She was so fascinating at that moment. He couldn’t help but to admire how far she had come since they met. Had she guessed his feelings, Petra would have had another reason to celebrate. To know that he admired her as well…

“Now let's pick up this mess, and then we're going to get your uniform.” He told her, taking a ball of paper some cadet had left over the table and throwing it at her. She was caught off guard, and instead of catching it, it hit her in the chest. She was a bit too thrilled, and failed to realize he didn’t intend to do so. Without losing a glimpse, she threw the ball back at him.

“Hey!” She said as the ball hit Levi’s shoulder. Amused by her spontaneity, he took it back and threw it once more at her. At this point she was cracking a bit, and continued to throw it once more, but he caught it close to her hand. They continued fighting for the ball until they were holding hands. His fingertips felt tender on her hand, and he smiled at her. Levi knew he was the first to put up barriers, but it still made him happy to see her overcome them. Petra’s eyes overflowed at his view, letting his smile travel all the way down to her heart.

“Thank you.” She told him, without letting him go.

His thumb moved a bit, delicately caressing hers for a moment. Petra thought it might have been a little spasm, but with the second touch her heart stopped. Her breathing became heavier, as he slowly approached her. They got so co close, she could feel the tips of his bangs raining on her face. That’s when Levi finally kissed her. It was just for a brief moment. Fearing to be seen, he trapped her lips between his, softening her so much that she felt her mind melt into his warmth.

Before Petra could get out of her amazement, he had already pulled away from her, looking away uncomfortably. Her brow furrowed, seeking his gaze back. Seeing his sudden rejection, her eyes began to get a bit teary.

“Didn't you tell me we weren’t going to dwell into this?” She scolded him.

“No shit, Petra.” He snapped in frustration, instantly regretting it.

Two cadets entered the room, leaving them in silence. They were Jean and Connie, whose conversation was cut off momentarily when seeing that Levi was there. Fearing his reaction, they nodded in greeting to the couple, and sat in a corner at the back.

“We should get going.” She told him, trying to hide in her tone the pain he had caused her. They left the room in silence, followed by Connie’s gaze. In the corridor, they crossed more people, being forced to put the matter to rest. Petra followed him through the halls, until they reached the warehouse where the 3d maneuver gears and some uniforms were kept. Their chests ached as they went on with their duty, as if nothing had happened.

“We are in the process of changing the traditional model, some soldiers are already using the new equipment, and you should get into the habit too.” Levi said.

“Sure. I think I can fit myself from here…” She answered.

“Petra...” Goosebumps rose on her skin. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

With those harsh words, Levi refused her false courtesy.

Petra glanced at him over her shoulder, tempted to show her irritation. She thought about stripping down right there. If he wanted to stay so badly, she would change herself in front of him. She took a deep breath, wondering if she really was about to do that.

She took off her woolen cardigan, laying it on the gas tanks. Levi lifted his chin slightly, sensing her plan. However, Petra's shyness prevented her from carrying out such impudence. She made his way to the bottom, and began searching through the smallest straps that might fit her.

Meanwhile, Petra thought she should be thriving. Levi had shown interest in her, and had even gone far enough to kiss her… Back then, she would have been content with his approval, but now nothing seemed to be enough, not with that fire burning in her gut. She couldn't help but feel that a part of her had always been right, it had to be him.

Levi found himself standing alone, not knowing what to do. He had always been able to stifle his feelings. He had embraced the harshness of the world, and turned his loneliness into a useful tool that made him a suitable sacrifice for humanity. He had never been interested in love, nor did he ever become used to human contact, but after all these years, Petra's closeness had made his armor tremble. Why did everything he did seem to lead nowhere, despite being known as humanity's strongest?

All these years fighting and the recent events were beginning to wear him down, despite having been an example of staunch discipline. What was left for them? Was it too bad to indulge into each for once?

Once Petra gathered her things, she headed for the door. Before leaving, she stopped before him and said:

“I intend to keep my promise. I'll get off the titan.”


	6. Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra prepares to rejoin the Survey Corps, keeping in mind her future tests with the titan. After her last meeting with Levi, things have gotten complicated. However, the captain will find an excuse that will allow them to debate their true thoughts. Getting rid of guilt through pain is an option, although it might be worth it to focus on what could be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Here’s the sixth chapter. 
> 
> It has about the same length as the previous ones, but due to its content, I’ve decided to post it directly on Ao3 (I usually upload it on tumblr as well). This chapter will force me to change the rating a bit. I wasn’t originally planning for it, but things are unfolding this way I guess… I hope this can bring you some entertainment. Lots of love! <3

"We're almost ready," he had told her, but the weeks had begun to pass. They were overwhelmed with work, so Petra ended up deducing that she had overestimated the proximity of the tests.

Eitherway, she had rejoined the corps, and had been spending much of her time training. She had also been testing the new equipment derived from the national police. Petra hadn't quite gotten used to it, especially to the idea of firearms… She had been told that, from now on, most of her enemies would be human, so they had increased the hours dedicated to shooting and self defense. The idea horrified her, she had no problem making titans bite the dust, but she had never killed anyone …

During her training and free hours, she had started bonding with her peers. The truth is that it was very easy, her personality was charming, and her talent spoke for itself. Soon, a lot of recruits started to wish they could be part of her future squad. "Don't let them get soft, especially if they’re going to follow you", Levi had told her, knowing that she tended to help them a little too much.

The atmosphere between them was somewhat tense, although it was obvious that he sought her out at times. Petra had decided to focus like a beast on her mission, leaving Levi as little space as possible in her mind. So, one afternoon of training, all the soldiers turned to watch how the captain challenged her to close combat.

They were aware that Petra would soon cease to be his direct subordinate, which didn’t mean that Levi wouldn’t continue to take charge of keeping her in shape. It was strange to see them fighting with their fists draped like that. He gave her some advantage, so that she could fine-tune her movements, occasionally making her fall. Petra used to do this with Oluo, winning time after time. She missed him ... It was different fighting with Levi, especially since his closeness softened her. It was his way of showing that he still cared, but a part of her couldn't help but feel humiliated, wishing she had enough skill to throw him down too.

During her days off, she had gone to visit her father. One time Jean and Connie had accompanied her, with whom she had hit it off as well. During her third visit, she got permission to pass the night there, and spent the whole night crying on her father's lap. She confessed that everything he had suspected was true, and told him what had happened with Levi. Her father stroked her hair like when she was little, encouraging her to talk about it.

She also found an opportunity to speak with Armin, Eren and Mikasa, with whom she shared a special bond due to their powers... She quickly realized that Eren hadn’t told them anything, and whenever they were together, he pretended as if nothing had happened.

"Eren, you know that I understand you, right? You can count on me ..." She told him one evening returning to the barracks.

"Petra, I appreciate it, but you don't ..."

“Then make me! Aren’t we tied now, anyways?”

“When it’s due, I promise I will, but, for now, I want you to be happy, please…”

She thought that everything seemed to alienate her, in one way or another. Eren and Petra kept walking until they caught up with the rest of the group that was starting to enter the building, when Levi suddenly came out.

"Oh! Captain, where are you going just now?" Connie asked.

“Maybe I'll go to have a drink...” He said, looking at Petra.

They all turned to look at her, who nodded in agreement… She knew they would’ve to eventually have a talk, especially since she had been avoiding him like crazy. She felt bad about it, but cringed every time she remembered their past encounters.

Petra had chosen her own outfit that time, something more “masculine”. She had been experimenting with new facets of herself, trying to find the new version that could put her through this. She was wearing a white shirt rolled up, brown pants and a jacket.

Levi looked at her. It seemed that she had updated herself... Everything was changing, including Petra.

They walked next to each other. She tried to be nice as usual, and they exchanged some opinions about her new teammates. Levi decided that it would be better if they visited a discreet tavern, somewhere they wouldn’t grab much attention. They arrived at a small local lost within the center of the city. The allway was dark, illuminated mainly by the light that came from inside the bar.

Three men were talking in the entrance, glasses on their hands, and they all turned to look at the woman walking towards them. Levi frowned at the sight, just as one of them became aware of his presence, instantly recognizing him.

"Oh! Captain Levi! How unexpected to meet you around here. We are all very grateful to you ... I see you have company too." Said the tallest of the group. He was slightly overweight, and had a dark mustache covering his sharp lips. As he spoke, his eyes swept over Petra once more. Levi was already unhinged and ready to shut him down, but Petra was quicker.

"Wow, you are really popular around here, Captain ..." She said, ending the conflict before it could begin.

"Oh, so you're in the military too. Is it a job outing then?" Said the man, alerting Levi's menacing gaze.

"That's right. So if you guys are so nice, surely the captain would also like to disconnect a bit from all this, you know ..." Petra said confidently.

"Of course, whatever for the lady." The same man replied, proving how much he could tempt the little man before he broke his neck. He then pulled a silver cigar case out of his pocket, a subtle display of his well-being position, not only because of the expensive material, but because tobacco itself was already considered a luxury product within the walls. He opened it and offered one to Petra. She raised her eyebrows and drew a small smile, accepting his offer. She was receptive, though her demeanor was certainly alert.

“Are you sure you're fast enough to pick up one of those?" Levi said, quite pissed off.

"I ... regenerate, you know?" She whispered back.

Damn, he thought. He had forgotten that she wasn’t normal anymore, and she surely was becoming a match for him.

Another man helped Petra lighting her cigarette, and immediately afterwards, she climbed the step entering the bar, leaving the group of gentlemen waiting for a farewell. Levi followed her to the back of the tavern, and they sat in a small wooden cubicle. They decided to order a bottle of whiskey so they could serve the rounds themselves, creating an environment of adequate privacy. The smell of tobacco unnerved Levi a bit, it reminded him of Kenny. He recalled for a moment how his uncle always had found a way to his vices, no matter the price...

Petra smoked calmly, it wasn't her first time. Levi couldn't help but imagine her secretly coughing with some recruits one night during her trainee years. Levi poured the glasses without stopping to look at her. Petra thanked him, grabbed her own and gulped it down.

"Are you going to regenerate from that too? Calm down." He told her nonchalantly.

"I'm going to need it, if we're going to have this conversation.” She answered, leaning towards the table and holding the cigarette between her fingers.

“So she's nervous” ... Levi thought. Surely that was the reason why she had been behaving that way. She dodged him, leaving the barracks every time she was minimally free, and now was smoking the cigar that a slimy old man had offered her.

Levi raised his glass, maybe he was going to need it too. "I want to start." He told her. "It was a huge shit. I don't want to hurt you, but you know this well enough... We're not in the situation.”

Petra raised her eyebrows, absolutely prepared for that comment. She poured herself another glass, somewhat frustrated. It was strange, it was the first time she felt this way about him. She wanted to be the one to blurt him out this time, but, at the same time, she loved him, she didn't want to hurt him. Petra just wanted to gut herself before Levi, to let him see everything. She wanted to print each one of her feelings on him.

"Captain." She squeezed her eyes shut, and shook her head. "Levi, if you want to start talking, how about you tell me something different?" She'd had a hard time saying that, and couldn't help but feel awful. "I'm making it difficult for you, right?" She continued, softer.

“Then stop it.” He answered.

"There you go... You're softening the sharp edges for me, you don't treat me the same. I can tell. This is messing with you as much as it does with me." It was obvious by her tone that she was very affected.

Petra took a drag on her cigar, trying not to sound like a jilted madwoman. "You pity me. That's why you do it. Ever since I died, and until I get out of that damn titan, I'm nothing more than a ghost. Before, you had chosen me for my work, for who I was, you believed in me because I was living for this. Now, I'm ... the dead girl who wanted to marry you."

Levi listened in silence. He would swallow each one of her replicas. She was right, and while he was doing it, he knew he was doing nothing but proving her point further. He also felt pissed. Deep down he wanted for them to fight, he wanted to purge all the guilt from him by letting her hurt him. She was putting a mirror in his face, and her words were sending him on a hell trip.

“Things would be easier without me. I can't help but think that, deep down, you would rather have me gone.”

The tension broke. She was terrified to say those words out loud, but if she had been completely honest, sometimes she wondered if she preferred herself gone as well. Petra took another drag, and her hand began shaking slightly.

Levi stared at her with wide eyes and a shattered chest. Quickly, he caught her by her raised wrist. Her honesty had hurted him greatly, and he felt the sudden impulse to open himself too.

"You've lost your fucking mind. You're fucking gone, you're already gone, and I fucking hate it. Every time I look at you I see you dead in the forest, or in Eren's mouth... But I can't hate you, I can't hold you by the neck and tell you to fucking hold on. Right now, I don't know what you are. Whatever you were hiding from me, now I have to see it. But if you think I'm going around there doing fucking charity you're very wrong. You want me to treat you like shit? Do you want me to hurt you for real? Then let's fucking go, I'll kiss you again.”

Levi spoke in a low tone, but aggressiveness drew each of his words. An anger and pain that were not directed at her, but at the black abyss that gnawed at him every day.

Petra sighed in relief. There was something terribly peaceful about hearing the truth. Levi let her go slowly, and crossed his hands in front of his face, resting his head on them, tormented by her words, and his own.

“I am sorry… I-... I wanted for you to break my heart so badly. I know I’m being selfish, but I needed something to be easier for once. I needed for you to help me to stop loving you.” She told him, on the verge of tears.

“Fuck off, Petra. I can’t.” He answered, although his voice cracked a bit. “Is that all?”

Petra’s hands were cold… Her words seemed so big inside her head, but that was it. For some reason their talk felt anticlimactic. Even after telling him the truth, she couldn’t find a way to feel better.

“Let’s get out of here.” He told her, frustrated after seeing that she wasn't going to respond.

  
Levi got up, not without pouring another glass and drinking it at once. Petra saw that his eyes were redish, although he tried his best to hide it. She looked lifeless on her seat, but eventually put out her cigarette and followed him. On their way out, the group of men were still there, but they both ignored their calls.

They walked fast, half hating each other for what they have put themselves through. Once they were far enough, Petra stopped him and held his arm, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I don’t want for us to end up like this… I still need you, in other ways.” She said.

Levi's dark circles had accentuated, and his pale skin revealed the tiny violet veins under his eyes. This wasn’t the right moment for a fight either. Was he going to let her last years pass like this? What guarantee did they have that she was going to survive the tests really?

“I understand…” Levi told her. He wanted to be with her so badly. Why couldn’t time stop for them, just once. Why couldn’t all their service be rewarded with that, a little more time together…

“You know, Petra… We’re going to see the sea.” He turned to look at her. “That's what lies beyond the walls, and the titans, a big surface of water...” His voice sounded dry, and tired…

“Yes… When I get through the tests, we’ll go see it.” She spoke softly, without letting him go. She was so tired of this pulling in and out. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, and put this nightmare to rest.

Petra buried her fingers in his black hair and kissed his jaw, burying her nose on his neck. She wanted to pour all of her devotion on him, to translate everything into something more personal. She was ready for that to be their last kiss, but he reached for her lips again. Soon all the anger and pain started to subside. The sound of each other's breathing and their scents brought them back to a better time, when they were only tied by a dream. The hope of a better world… This is where it had led them.

With their eyes closed, it was easy to ignore the seriousness of their actions. Levi felt the responsibility of pulling her away again, but he was being carried away by his emotions once more. They were beginning to feel the urge to have each other, to hide somewhere so that they could confess everything between caresses. It seemed that there was a bond between them, a hidden tenderness in all the moments they had shared, that made all of that make sense. With each moment, their kiss didn't seem to stray so far from their late-night talks or their battles together. It just made sense.

When they broke apart, Levi was holding her hand like the first time.

Before going back to the barracks, Petra invited him to rest somewhere else. Reluctantly, Levi agreed to her plan. Petra rented a room by herself, and made Levi sneak in by climbing up to the window. He felt genuinely ridiculous, but at least he could avoid inquiries for now. He didn’t like this type of place, it reminded him of his childhood, and his mother, although in this case the hostel wasn’t dedicated to those kinds of activities. The room was well accommodated, and was more welcoming than the ones in the barracks.

They took off their jackets, their shoes, and drank some water from the pitcher on the dresser. They sat on the bed, and let the time pass. They ended up lying next to each other, and eventually hugging. They stayed like that for a while, comforting and occasionally caressing the other. Fatigue took hold of them in the peace of the room. It was something so different from what they were used to. It was the first time that they had allowed themselves to experience this peace and vulnerability.

Having settled into the other's presence, Petra began unbuttoning her shirt. Levi looked down, appreciating how the smooth skin of her breasts began to appear between her buttons. She was wearing a white bra, something simple and comfortable that would have allowed her to move with ease. He thought that surely she chose them thinking about her work. He enjoyed discovering those little details... He eventually followed her, and decided to take his own off.

Petra blushed a bit when she saw Levi's figure against the light, his scars, the way his back changed with every movement. She reached out a hand to touch him, curious.

Feeling her hand against his skin, Levi wondered how far they were going to take this. He feared that if he turned around, there wasn’t going to be a way back. When he did, the sight of her was galvanizing. They hesitated for a moment, but kissed again, laying back on the bed. They could barely see each other in the darkness, but everything was pleasant, peaceful.

It would have been expected for the desperation of having each to consume them, but any small gesture felt enough. They stayed like that, loving each other calmly, with their faces always close. The kisses grew deeper, and the softness of the bed welcomed them. Petra's breasts felt tender against him, though he didn't venture to touch.

She wondered why didn’t he make any step further, and decided to invite him, just in case. She arched her back, and with one hand managed to undo her bra. Levi felt a little nervous, it was the first time he was like that with someone, and he wasn’t sure of being able to satisfy her.

Once uncovered, Petra trapped him in her arms again, wanting to feel him closer. Levi felt the need to return her gesture, and began to remove his pants. She did the same, remaining practically naked before the other.

This time their hands took more liberties, running over the thighs, the hips and those little forgotten spots. They worshiped each other leisurely, knowing that they had been lost and found, and that every moment was sacred.

“I want to fall asleep like this so badly…” She whispered.

“Am I making you sleepy?” He asked.

“Not in that way…” She smiled, running his back with her fingers. Petra's eyes gleamed in the faint moonlight streaming through the window. Her figure floated in the gloom, giving rise to a beautiful chiaroscuro of shadows and lights. “This is just, so peaceful and fond…”

Levi’s heart felt heavier thinking that this could be her life, if only she hadn’t joined him and had married a normal guy instead. Nevertheless, he knew this was a fantasy, and that their world was in constant danger. Maybe this could be their lives for real, in the future...

“I thought you wanted for us to fuck.” He told her suddenly, feeling the need to address the intensity of the moment.

Petra laughed a little. “I do… But you don’t seem too fond of the idea.”

Levi felt a bit surprised that she had realized.

“I’m sorry… My mother… She was a prostitute. She tried her best to keep me alive, but it ended up killing her. I don’t have the easiest time with this.”

Petra's expression saddened, and she crawled slightly to hug him once more. "It's fine, I just wanted to have you like this for a while."

Levi felt relieved. He found it difficult to lower his defenses, and it was comfortable to be with someone who respected his boundaries.

He kissed her cheeks, her lips, and neck, until his touch became hungrier, stronger, as if he wanted to drag her body to wherever his feelings were... Petra let out a muffled noise.

"Levi... You don't have to."

"Tell me how..." He asked her, as he lowered his hand between her legs. Petra's face turned red, although her first instinct was to spread her thighs.

He slid his hand under her panties, and let her guide him. She felt a bit embarrassed to be the only one in that situation, but soon the fire in her belly began to cloud her head. Everything seemed so unrealistic, that she almost felt anxious. Petra gripped his shoulder, pulling him closer, trying to ease herself from her own desire.

As he kept going, Levi watched her drift away to the point where her posture, face, sounds and movements became alien to shame. From the safety of his position, he began to be drawn to the scene below him, and his breath hitched overwhelmed by the desire to accompany her. As she began to approach climax, passion finally ignited every nerve in his body. Levi paused, stripping off his underwear, causing his vision to make Petra shiver in anticipation.

She got up to meet him, and kissed him, and for a moment they fought for control, until Petra pushed him against the mattress. Levi lifted his torso, drawn like a magnet to her figure.

“Let me…” She told him, placing herself on top of him.

For the next minutes, what had started as a timid attempt at intimacy, shifted into something more carnal, almost animalistic. The silent room was filled by their begging voices, and the bed underneath screeched every movement. They understood each other so well that it was almost weird to think this was their first time. Whenever Petra caught Levi looking at her face, she would smile at him in pure bliss.

That night they were happy.

When they finished, it was past midnight, and they had to rush to clean themselves and back to the streets. Levi went out through the window again, feeling his body lighter… He felt as if he had entered being one man, and left as another. Soon, Petra appeared running around the corner of the stone pavemented street, smiling once again. She was entertained by the sight of her lover climbing down, with his hair still sweaty and messy. He surely felt very uncomfortable by that, but if someone saw them recently bathed they surely would figure it out… He jumped to the street and joined her in another kiss.

They started walking back, with a different kind of silence. They didn’t feel apart anymore.

That stroll granted Petra the best 20 minutes she had had in long. Laughing, occasionally insulting each other lovingly, and feeling as if anything were possible. Unluckily, that sensation started to fade as the barracks began to appear behind the buildings. Things would have been so much better if they were headed to any other place… They had to come back to the reality that they were not free.

Petra’s sense of responsibility started to accuse her… She really had slept with him. The pressure on her chest grew heavier remembering his words: “you’re already gone”, he had told her, and doing something like this only confirmed that she had lost herself completely. Maybe, after all, he couldn’t have loved her before. Maybe now that they didn’t have anything else to lose they could hurt each other freely, but, deep down, she knew she was wrong… He still had to live with it. Levi would still lose her.

“Don’t think too much about it...” He told her, as if he could read it on her face. “We had our chance, and took it.”

Petra looked at him, he spoke like a soldier even for that. It was evident that his work had taken over every bit of his being, perhaps he also saw his relationships that way.

Levi's conscience was starting to screw up with his head too. He thought that the memory of that night would eventually belong to Eren as well. He didn't want to swing on his feelings for Petra, but it was obvious that he prioritized her. He had done it before, but now, Levi wanted to hold on to her until the end. He didn't want for history to repeat itself.

They entered through the back door, and went up the same stairs from that time. They said good night and parted ways. Just as Levi had expected, Hange was not long in showing up to his dorm.

“So… Late again with Petra around there?” They asked from the doorframe, as Levi pulled off his jacket.

Levi turned to look at them, “hm”, he nodded.

“You took a shower before leaving, didn’t you? Why does your hair look like that?” They asked, hinting at the obvious.

“You know why.” Levi answered. He was willing to be a good friend, and a good soldier. He worried about making things more complicated, but he would not lie, not to Hange.

“No, I don’t.” They looked deathly serious, it was strange for them to give that look.

Levi sighted, lowering his head in defeat.

“It’s too much... Hange.”


	7. Clock Bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment has finally come, and the Survey Corps is able to explore the world outside the walls. Petra reassures her father that she will be alright, despite knowing that the impending experiments carry a great risk. No matter what, she will try to fulfill her promise and get out of the titan. Will she live up to Levi and Eren’s expectations? The young shifter is attentive to her movements... What’s going on with him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, another chapter! Things are starting to get complicated, and I must warn you that I’m going to modify the og timeline a bit. I also won’t be dwelling too much on stuff that’s already explained in canon, unless I think it adds to the story. I hope you guys like it!

Petra woke up swearing that she could still feel him inside. Her body burned, marked by the memory of their encounter. She took a little longer to get out of bed, rejoicing in the memory of them, and thinking about how much she wanted to see him again, perhaps in some corner of the warehouse, locked in the kitchen, or in the privacy of his bedroom…

The sound of someone knocking on the door took her out of her fantasy, and she hurried to get up, fearing that she had been late due to her foolishness. Petra opened the door in her nightgown, with her cheeks still flushed. On the other side, the exhausted image of Hange greeted her.

“Good morning commander! Did I lose track of time, maybe? What do I owe your visit to?” She said kindly.

“Good morning to you too, Petra. I just wanted to inform you first hand that, in three days, we will be going outside the walls. How’s your training going?”

“Of course.” Her back straightened. “I’ve been training almost everyday, and I am completely ready.” Petra spoke effusively, before Hange interrupted her.

“Well done! I also wanted to tell you that you’ll be on my squad from now on, so I’ll be taking care of you for a while.”

Petra's expression changed rapidly, as she began to connect the dots. She started to get visibly nervous, crazy to know if Levi had asked for this.

Hange caught her emotion quickly. “Don’t put that face! The captain doesn’t doubt your capacity. It’s just that… He’s been taking all the shifters to himself, and I could use some experience right now. Is that okay with you?”

Hange spoke in their usual light-hearted tone, although Petra could sense that something was off. She was tremendously disappointed to have to leave Levi's squad, even though she knew she had been testing her luck behind the scenes. It hurt her to think that it might have been his idea… Did he regret what happened?

They decided not to extend the matter any longer, said goodbye and returned to their duties.

During lunch, Petra sat down with some new police veterans, who had switched over to the Survey Corps. It was nice to be with soldiers her age, and some of them were rumored to be candidates for her next squad. In the large communal dining room, her eyes met Levi's a couple of times, but also Hange's, who seemed to be watching her more than usual. Petra's appetite began to disappear. They had to know…

As evening fell, Levi decided to approach her at the stables. She was distracted chatting with Edith and Hugo. When they saw the captain approaching, they immediately withdrew to continue working. Petra's mood brightened as she saw him approach. One way or another, they were something now, she thought.

Levi was worried about the decision they had taken with Hange, but was relieved to see the sweet expression she gave him regardless. His face brightened for a few moments when he saw her again from up close, taking a moment to appreciate her.

“I imagine Hange has already informed you, but I thought you might want to hear it from me as well.” He started, and as much as he tried, his weakness for her showed on the way he spoke.

“Yes to both.” She replied, unable to hide a youthful enthusiasm.

“Last night…” Levi started, unable to bury the burning memory. “Hange came to my dorm and asked about us. I told them, the truth… Not everything, although they can imagine.”

“What did you tell them, then?” Petra asked. She felt mortified to learn that the commander knew of their affair.

“I told them that this is too much. You were right, this is messing with us both. I want for my subordinates to be equal…” He took a pause, measuring the weight of his words. “This way you’ll be with someone less biased.”

Petra had mixed feelings. She felt ashamed, but wouldn’t have expected to hear those words from him. Had she really gotten to him that much? She couldn’t really imagine him prioritizing one person over another… It almost felt like a lie. She remembered then what he had told her about his mother ... She was beginning to see yet another side of him. He went from being an insurmountable hero, to a curious character with a big heart, and finally to a man. After everything he had been through, had she been the burden that had bent him? Petra saddened.

“I don’t know how to feel…” She spoke softly.

“We need to focus for now. I promised that this won’t come in the way. You’re a shifter, that’s the main reason you’re not going home…” Levi said, needing for her to understand all sides of the situation.

Petra felt like she had been punched in the stomach. It was obvious that her recklessness could not be overlooked, and under normal circumstances, she would have been expelled. She was a shifter, and he was… Levi. They had a pass for that, but it still was unacceptable. There was no way they could go naturally about it.

“I… I don’t know If I should write a formal apology.” She said with a constricted expression.

“Don’t bother. This will stay between the three of us.” Levi answered, frowning as he imagined the content of that letter. At what point had he thought of sleeping with a subordinate? He couldn’t say it wasn’t like that, from the outside, it was what it was.

When they parted ways, the cloud that had held their spirits collapsed. Why did each moment together seem to shorten?

Petra stood next to her horse, wondering how was it possible for him to be the same man she held the night before. She thought distance is completely relative when someone is in love. One day, you can have the illusion of sharing each feeling, and the next, be unable to understand the other's reasons. Had he gotten over it so easily? Her confidence shaked a bit, even though she knew that’s how he always behaved.

Truth was that Levi had been thinking about her as well, although his talk with Hange had left him drained. They didn’t argue much about it, they understood for the most part, but had a colder head for the matter. That was their job after all, and what Levi should have been able to do as well.

In the next two days, he didn’t have time for much. He dedicated himself to supervise the training of his own squad, and the preparations for the expedition. His ability to concentrate did not betray him, although at night, he considered the possibility that those were Petra’s last days. Yet he had promised that he would believe in her, and she had made it clear to him that going through this would relieve her of some of the burden from her fatal mission.

The captain stayed up until the wee hours, sometimes helping Hange get through paperwork. When fatigue overcame the commander, he considered the possibility of sneaking into Petra’s bedroom, in search of a little peace. The night before the mission, he found her awake wandering down the hall, trying to get off some adrenaline to get to sleep. They exchanged a couple of encouraging words and he left her on the bed, but not before trying each other's lips.

  
xxxxxxxxxx

Before the sun rose, all the teams were ready, securing the cars and supplies that remained to be put away. Wanting to take advantage of as much light as possible, they left the walls at dawn, when the cool of the night had not yet left the humid air.

Petra had written to her father, she had doubted whether to tell him anything or lie, but having exterminated the rest of the titans, he had nothing to fear, at least that he could know… It seemed unbelievable to run outside the walls so calmly, although it was nice to be able to afford such luxury. All thanks to the sacrifice of their companions...

The Survey Corps rode in formation, Petra was on the right side of Hange, a place that Moblit would have occupied until recently, and further to their right was Levi. They continued on their way until they left the seeking of Wall Maria, which would soon be repopulated. After noon, they were far enough, and started to search for a suitable place to carry out the experiments. It took them another day to find an adequate location, having to camp on site. The next morning, the warmth of the sun woke Petra, who shuddered at the memory of her first awakening in the forest, after her transformation...

The moment had come.

She was the first of the squad to get up, and found Levi and Hange having a drink. Upon seeing her, they interrupted their conversation and proceeded to wake the rest.

The site chosen had a wide depression in the ground, in which the earth had split, leaving a rocky corridor flanked by two walls. Petra would be placed underneath, leaving the soldiers strategically above her. In case something went wrong, she would be cornered and they could use their equipment without problem.

The soldiers spread out on either side of the stone corridor, while Petra descended. In front of her were also placed a series of elements, such as logs, barrels and other things, with which she would be asked to carry out tasks. That way, they could gauge her receptivity level, and give her a motive or reason to transform, in case she needed it.

Once everyone was in their positions, Petra looked up to see everyone ready for the attack. Her eyes shifted to Eren, who held the hilts of his swords tightly, fearing the unfolding of events. She couldn't help but remember how they reacted that time Eren accidentally transformed. They were so ready to attack him... How the tables had turned. She nodded at him, causing Eren's expression to soften. Petra was ready.

Levi drew his blades as he approached the cliff. He sought her gaze, but he saw her engrossed in the objects she had in front of her. He turned to look at Hange, everything was in order. Hange approached him, and looked at Petra.

“Petra, first, I’m going to ask you to move the logs past the barrel line!” They screamed, framing their mouth with their hands.

“Yes, commander!” She replied.

With their right hand, the commander launched an orange flare that traveled horizontally over the hole. The experiment had begun.

Petra pulled a small dagger from her belt, and took a deep breath. She couldn't flinch. She made a move to cut herself, but at the last moment she glanced at Eren, dropped the knife, and bit her hand. Levi and Eren were surprised by her gesture, perfectly understanding its message.

From the outside, a great explosion of gas and thunder ensued, bringing to their faces an air so hot they could barely breathe. In a matter of moments, an infernal roar made the ground rumble, sending the most fearful back a couple of steps.

Levi hadn't expected such an amount of steam, and he shouted at the soldiers to distance themselves. They didn’t know which of all the titans she had inherited, and with such little vision, they couldn't guess its size, or if she was being able to control it.

Immediately, the smoke began to dissipate, revealing a rather small titan, around 5 or 6 meters. His face seemed covered by a bone-white mask, with a long sharp jaw, that revealed a row of also sharp teeth. He had deep golden eyes, and short auburn hair. The titan’s skeletal face contrasted his strong body, with toned arms, and long stylized hands with claws. Levi watched the creature from the top of a tree, being able to glimpse a resemblance to Petra, even with its inhuman appearance.

Armin was the first to recognize him, despite the changes in its features. "Commander! This is the titan we wounded when they tried to rescue Reiner." He shouted from the edge of the cliff. "From what we saw, it’s especially fast, and fights mostly with its mouth and hands. Although it doesn’t seem as powerful as the Armored or the Beast titans." The shrewd boy continued.

“I see…” Answered Hange, positioning themself next to him. “Hey! Petra! Can you hear us?! If so, please raise your right arm!” Shout the commander to the immobile titan.

The seconds felt like an eternity, and the Jaw titan remained motionless. Levi gritted his teeth, concerned at his unresponsiveness. Both he and Mikasa quickly approached the edge, fearing that he was going to attack at any moment, but soon, the creature raised its arm, turning his head towards them. After the self-injury, everything had gone black for a second, and it took Petra a few moments to take control over her new body.

Everyone sighed in relief, and Hange let out a cry of excitement that annoyed Levi. Eren was also able to relax his muscles a bit… This wouldn’t be the occasion.

To their joy, Petra had been able to resurrect, completely transform, and control her titan without problems. Without delay, the titan started to move slowly towards the pile of logs, and fulfilled Hange’s comand.

The tests continued with a series of tasks that the titan performed without major inconvenience. Under the watchful eye of her superiors, Petra performed various physical feats, also testing the hardness of her teeth and claws. Levi followed her from close ... Something felt off to him. When she was brought back from the forest, she still had some fractures, and her regeneration was slower than usual. Everything was going too well. Perhaps her life force had already been restored to that point?

Petra had been transformed for almost an hour, and little by little she was getting used to her second body. The feeling of her was strange, though if she concentrated enough, it was almost like a second skin. Suddenly, she didn’t know if because of her nerves or fatigue, it began to seem that the temperature of the flesh around her was increasing.

She ignored it and continued with her tests, although the air soon became heavy, and she began to worry. Out of nowhere, the tips of her fingers began to burn, and she felt a void in her limbs, as if they had disappeared. The titan collapsed on the floor. Petra completely lost her outside vision, and panic began to seize her as the temperature rose dramatically around her.

From the outside, The Titan began to release large amounts of steam, decomposing at high speed into a mass of magmatic flesh and vapors. Seeing this, Levi did not wait for orders and lunged terrified towards the back of his neck. The temperature kept rising, and if he didn't do anything, she could be burned alive.

Petra was struggling from the inside to get rid of the flesh. Her skin was beginning to get hurt, and in the darkness of that space, full of red-hot steam, she thought she was going to die once more, unable to breathe without burning her lungs.

Seeing the situation, Hange ordered more soldiers to cut his flesh, intending that by separating it from his neck, it would stop burning that much, facilitating her rescue. Panic also seized Levi, who saw that Petra didn’t come out. He wanted to wait for her, and let her fulfill her promise, but time was running out. He raised his blades with the intention of pulling her out, but a jet of hot steam under pressure shot into his face, having to protect himself with his arm.

Mikasa was about to finish the job for him, but Petra came out of the nape just in time. She tried to scream in pain but her throat was burned. The ackermans helped her to detach with their hands and blades. Her skin was red, especially in the limbs, which were badly damaged.... The situation became desperate when they saw that they could barely breathe, but they managed to get her out before the body of the titan fully hatched.

xxxxxxxxxx

For the rest of the day, the tests were suspended. Now they knew what titan she had, and what was his peculiarity; its body came with a timer.

Unfortunately, they would have to ask her to do it again. They needed to see if it could extend its functional time, or if on the opposite, it shortened with the transformations, or how many times she could shift in short lapses ... Nonetheless, they would be more prepared for next time.

On the other hand, they still didn’t know if it was a singularity of the titan itself, or if on the contrary, it was due to the fact that Petra had been resurrected with the serum. Also, how effective would be in combat a titan that can only be used for an hour? Possibly needing assistance to get out?

There were many issues to be resolved, and Armin's Colossal remained to be seen.

They laid Petra on her sleeping bag, without covering her. They tried wetting her burns to ease the pain, causing her to give off even more steam from her regeneration. As she healed, the pain gradually disappeared, being far less severe than it should have been. She was finding it a bit difficult to breathe, and her mouth tasted like iron. She wondered how successful that test could be considered, but, at least, she had kept her promise.

Hange timed her regeneration, and cared for her condition quite fondly. Petra was tempted to bring up the matter with Levi, but it wasn’t the right time.

A groan of pain made her head spin, it was Levi's voice. She saw he was on the other side of the camp. They were slowly taking off his shirt, but it seemed that it had stuck a bit to his skin ... When trying to protect himself from the steam, he had burned part of his arm and his shoulder blade. Unlike her, Levi couldn't heal that quickly, and his injuries were requiring attention. Petra tried to sit up a little, worried about him. Hange knelt beside her, trying to reassure her.

“It may not seem like it, but the shorty is quite a whiner. He’ll be fine in no time!” They told her. Petra smiled back at them, lying down, even though her eyes gave her away.

Levi heard them, though he didn't want to turn to meet Petra's gaze. It wasn’t her fault. He remained silent as his wounds were cleaned and bandaged, taking deep breaths to minimize the pain. It was reassuring to think that Petra was healing in a hurry, and from Hange's amazement, he concluded that she was doing it faster than last time.

After a long time, Petra's skin returned almost entirely to normal, leaving only a few pink welts. It seemed like her body went through a very fast recovery phase right off the bat, and then it slowed down. Notes were being taken of all the details, while Levi looked at everything sitting on a wooden box. He soon saw that Eren was also looking at her, and considered asking him what exactly they had seen in that vision. After all, he could make him speak the hard way, and it despaired him to think that the boy could be keeping some useful information to himself. Information that could be used to save her… What was going on with him?

Eren sensed the captain's gaze, and left with Mikasa and Armin. He wanted to talk to Petra. After all, he had seen more things than her. He still had some strands to tie, but if he wasn’t on the wrong track… Would she understand? Maybe he would tell her in private...

“Eren, what’s the matter?” Asked Mikasa, while looking back to the captain and Petra.

“Nothing, I was just worried…”

Levi heard him answer from afar. Hange was also attentive to Eren’s movements. Maybe he was just going through a hard patch. In the end, he was the one who saw her die… No. There was something more. Petra was the one to inform about the visions, he hadn’t told anything, and lied about Historia that time. Levi and Hange exchanged a quick look, almost communicating telepathically, they saw that the other also shared their suspicions.

They decided to camp there for the time being, as they had plans to continue the next day. With great caution, Levi discreetly asked five soldiers to help him keep an eye on Petra. Among them, Edith and Hugo, who looked at him confused when he told them to not tell anything to the rest. Weren't they among allies? However, they obeyed without delay. Levi didn't tell them that he feared Eren, but his instincts rarely failed him.

After a while, Petra decided to get up, and approached the captain. The adrenaline had begun to leave her body, and she had spent the afternoon feeling uncomfortable under the watchful eyes of the investigators. Her abilities seemed crazy, was that her body for real?

“How are you, Levi?”

The tension in his body lessened with her voice, she was calling him by name.

“I'm good, thanks. I see that you have already recovered. I'm glad you got out.” He told her, touching his damaged arm.

“I am sorry about that… I guess with these things you can’t never expect for it to go smoothly.” Petra spoke kindly, as she got even closer.

“As long as it’s something external, it won’t stop me.” Levi spoke, catching a glimpse of her worried face. He didn’t know how to make it better.

“You’ve been quite hot lately, I guess…” He said, drop dead serious, instantly regretting it.

Petra's gaze distorted a little, and she suddenly blushed, letting out a snort. Was that a joke? She had to laugh at how awkward he was... He had been unexpectedly adorable. The last thing she had expected was for Levi to refer to their encounter like that at such a moment, but it managed to cheer her up.

Seeing her amusement, Levi felt a little better about his dumb comment. He adored her smile, and felt a tingle of joy as she sat next to him.

Petra tried to say something, bursting out laughing again. "I'm not going to lie to you, this has been scary, but knowing you were there helped a lot. For a moment, I thought I wasn't going to make it." As she spoke, her tone grew more somber. "Luckily, after a while I didn't feel it anymore. You're not so lucky ..." She continued, turning her upper body to face him. She didn't expect to find his attentive eyes over hers. She couldn't stop a smile, and had to look away from him, as she felt overwhelmed by it.

Levi wondered if he was being creepy, and turned his head a little too. “Are you feeling better now that you’ve made it?” He asked.

“Yes, a lot better.” She said, leaning back in her arms. Levi checked her out of the corner of his eye. “Did I look scary?” She said after a moment.

“No.” He answered.

“I guess for you nothing does.” She laughed. “That girl.” Petra continued, pointing at Mikasa with her nose. “She’s an Ackerman too, isn’t she?”

“Yes. Our bloodline seems to be immune to the Founder's memory erasures...”

They continued to talk, letting the ugliness of their world to swift away. When they were together, everything else happened at the sidelines. The injuries and near death experiences weren’t a match for them. Whatever they had to go through, they thought, was just the haystack to their needle.

After a few more days of testing and riding, they finally made it to the ocean.


End file.
